


Variables

by scapegoat



Category: Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616
Genre: Addiction, Advanced Idea Mechanics, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Reality, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Still Have Powers, Best Friends, Body Modification, Crazy Alien Theories, Deaf Clint Barton, Developing Relationship, Disabled Character, Discrimination, Drug Use, Emotional Manipulation, Escort Service, Everyone Has Issues, Everyone Needs A Hug, Extremis, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Families of Choice, Getting to Know Each Other, Identity Porn, Life Model Decoys, Mistaken Identity, Mistaken for Being in a Relationship, Pining, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Prosthesis, Recreational Drug Use, Relationship Negotiation, Robotics, Second-Hand Embarrassment, Self-Harm, Slow Romance, Stark Industries, Symbiote - Freeform, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-14
Updated: 2015-11-05
Packaged: 2018-03-12 04:32:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 28,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3343766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scapegoat/pseuds/scapegoat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Desperation drives people to do crazy things, stupidity drives people to do even crazier things, emotions make everything messy and alcohol might be the only deciding factor in life that truly matters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Set Up

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer Time ~ I do not own any Marvel anything. I just by the merchandise and read the comics and watch the shows/movies. I also own nothing else referenced and/or mentioned; and finally I make no money writing.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fake relationships appear to be the new norm.

When Pepper walks into Tony’s office she immediately knew something was wrong. For one, Tony was actually _in_ his office. For the past five years as the personal assistant for one Anthony “Tony” Edward Carbonell-Stark, the man was not once in his office without prompting/bribing. And seriously, how many rich people actually needed bribery? Though Tony’s bribes were never of the money variety and were almost always food (or alcohol) based. Nevertheless, Pepper was worried _especially_ when she saw—  
  
The redhead gasped. “Put the paperwork down Mr. Stark!”  
  
“Wha—” Tony’s head snapped up and he dropped the papers in his hand. “Jesus Pep, you scared the hell out of me!”  
  
“That’s my line.” She walked toward the desk sifting through the mountain of papers.  
  
“I signed and read where appropriate.”  
  
Flummoxed, Pepper’s head snapped toward him. “ _Why_?”  
  
“What? Why am I doing paperwork?” Pepper nods. “Pep...” Tony chuckled shaking his head. “This is the paperwork—”  
  
“I gave you _this morning_. Tony, you hate paperwork.”  
  
“Isn’t hate a bit of a strong word?”  
  
“What would you like me to say then? Loathe, detest, have an absolute disdain for—?”Pepper sighed. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against the change. In fact I’m all for it but this is pretty sudden. You usually wait, oh I don’t know, _a week_ before filling them out and even then you have me do them for you. It took me almost three years to forge your signature perfectly Mr. Stark.”  
  
“You might not want to admit that out loud Ms. Potts.” Pepper merely shrugged in reply. Tony sighed pushing the papers to the side so he could rest his elbows on the desk. “Pepper, we’re friends... right? And not because I sign your paycheck and stuff?”  
  
“Of course we’re friends Tony and you don’t sign my checks they go directly into my account on payday; in any event, what the hell is wrong with you?”  
  
Tony groaned, “my parents.” Pepper drew back as if the words physically struck her. “My thoughts exactly.” During the first week of becoming the new CEO of Stark Industries, Tony almost immediately hired the sassy redhead that told him off in the elevator without knowing who he was. For most people, not Tony Stark, they might have felt insulted for two reasons – one; being told off (obviously) by an underling of all people and the second would be not being recognized. Fortunately, Tony Stark was Tony Stark so he was amused by it. The redhead nearly didn’t accept the job offer once she found out it was her would-be boss she cursed out but Tony somehow managed to convince her to take it. Hell, he needed more people in his life to give it to him straight without all the bullshit ass kissing. Ever since, Virginia “Pepper” Potts had become Tony’s right hand, best friend and personal assistant.  
  
Pepper was one of the very few people Tony not only considered a ~~best~~ friend but trusted entirely. The woman knew his social security number for crying out loud! Besides, if Pepper ever did want to screw him over Tony would allow it wholeheartedly. Hell, he’d help her out. Not that she would even need the help.  
  
“My parents...” Tony repeated rubbing his palm down his face. “They’re coming from California to ‘check on me.’”  
  
Pepper sighs pinching the bridge of her nose. “In layman’s terms its them endlessly harassing you and questioning all your life choices, particularly why you’re still single.”  
  
Tony points at her, “and that will earn you another bonus Ms. Potts.” Pepper smiles. “So—”  
  
“If you’re asking me to pretend to be your girlfriend, fiancée, _wife_ or anything along those lines the answer is no. More like resounding hell no.” Tony swore. “Besides, your father knows I’m on the payroll and he would never accept.”  
  
“I don’t care about him accepting, I just want him to get off my back! I’m thirty-nine years old for God’s sake!” Pepper hummed with a nod. “I don’t know what the hell is wrong with him. So what if he and Maria were married with... _me_ around this age.”  
  
“I thought you were adopted?”  
  
“Moot point.”  
  
“Right.”  
  
Tony sighed. “I don’t wanna get into a relationship and ‘change’ and do all that shit.” He shrugged. “I don’t do relationships.”  
  
“That’s not true, you and I are in a relationship. Friendships, partnerships, they’re all relationship Tony.”  
  
“Fine, _Pepper_ , I don’t do ‘romantic’ relationships. And don’t give me bull about being afraid of commitment or any of that nonsense.”  
  
“Wouldn’t dream of it Mr. Stark.” She deadpanned. “You’re looking at it all wrong though. You think of being in a romantic relationship as change.” She frowned. “Okay, all relationship are about change but not in the way you think. You don’t get in a relationship to change yourself, unless that’s your sole choice but most of the time any relationship you engage into is going to change your outlook, your perception on something you wouldn’t normally think of alone. All the cynical, smartass comments you give about couples sharing their snacks or feeding ducks in the park? You might just turn into half of one.” Tony gasped. “Its true. Nothing happens overnight either. You ...you need – I’m thinking of a scientific way to put this. You’re not looking for a partner or lover, you need a variable.”  
  
Tony looks up staring wide-eyed at the redhead. “Y-You just get me so well Pep.” Pepper shrugs with a smile. “So where do I go to find my variable?”  
  
“Hmm...” Pepper tapped her chin, “you’d have to go somewhere filled with constants and co-efficients and—”  
  
“No, not the math talk Pep. I’m too sober for it.”  
  
“Well, we could check the library—” Tony rose an eyebrow, “I meant _bar_ tomorrow.”  
  
“Tomorrow? Why the hell not today?”  
  
“Because, unlike you, I have an active social life. Besides, I have a date tonight and I’d rather not surprise them with a third wheel in the form of my boss.”  
  
“Nice use of gender neutral pronouns Ms. Potts. What’s her name?”  
  
Pepper sighed, “I don’t know. Its a blind date. One of those ‘doing it for a friend’ things or whatever. I honestly don’t even know the gender in question.” Tony winced. “But I’m free tomorrow so we can go looking for your variable then. Oh and please don’t call them that out loud.”  
  
>>>>>>>>>>>>  
  
According to Wikipedia – the life’s blood of Internet users all over the world: _in elementary mathematics,_ _a variable_ _, is an alphabetic character representing a number, the value of the variable, which is either arbitrary or not fully specified or unknown. Making algebraic computations with variables as if they were explicit numbers allows one to solve a range of problems in a single computation._  
  
According to the world of ‘dating’  a variable was someone you could take to bed or show to your parents – once, so you can save face – then disappear without changing the equation that is your life. Ooh, that was good. Tony had to remember to write that down.  
  
The characteristics Tony required first and foremost was that he could not get said variable pregnant which, in turn, made Pepper snort in a mixture of grief and amusement. Because she wasn’t about to ask the fertility of every woman they passed she stuck to men. Which was okay because Tony was pansexual anyway – another thing his parents didn’t understand. The second shallow as hell characteristic was someone good-looking; now Tony and Pepper shared similar tastes so that one would be easy for her. The third and quite possibly most important was – no idiots. Strangely enough, Pepper agreed with him.  
  
The last few people Tony decided to do the whole one-night stand with were so damn dumb he couldn’t even get/maintain an erection long enough to do anything. Yes, idiocy was an apparent boner killer for Tony Stark.  
  
So here the two of them were at the _Shield_ bar in Jersey City of all places scanning the crowd for potential prospects. New York had plenty of shitty bars they could be sitting in right now. The only thing New Jersey was good for was watching Jets/Giants and the occasional Devils home games. “When did you say your parents were coming!?” Pepper yells over the music.  
  
“Tomorrow!”  
  
“Dammit Tony, that’s not a lot of time!”  
  
“I know! What if I just ask some random schmuck to be my boyfriend for the weekend?!”  
  
“Tony that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard! You’re supposed to be a genius! You graduated from MIT at eighteen for God’s sake!”  
  
“Pep, I’m not gonna just find someone overnight, you said it yourself! This way—”  
  
“Don’t even finish! You’re drunk Tony!”  
  
“You’re drunk too!” Pepper’s squinting at him. Her big, bright green eyes are holding only a fraction of that usually Peppery-ness due to her intoxication and the low lights of the bar. “Why won’t you be my girlfriend Pepper, you’re my best friend!?”  
  
“Tony, your parents are insane! I’m not gonna be your real bodyguard _and_ fake girlfriend! Its too much work!”  
  
She had a point. The last time his parents popped up to dictate his life, Pepper had to corral him where he only caused hundreds of dollars in damages via rage induced destruction in the lab instead of thousands – or more. That was also around the time he got scheduled for anger management sessions through his butler Jarvis. Speaking of good old Jarvis, he was the Stark family butler but because Tony’s parents were old he usually spent most of his time in California (or wherever the hell they were) attending to their needs.  
  
Tony hadn’t seen his parents in three years and he was hoping for longer but he always had shitty luck.  
  
Tony racked his liquor-addled brain for any associates or otherwise, none being Pepper, that he could convince to partake in a fake relationship with him at least for the weekend. Howard and Maria’s visits never lasted longer than three days. It was routine for them to show up Friday – bright and fucking early – then disappear Sunday night/Monday morning. Not like they had to make reservations or anything, they had a private jet.  
  
_Fortunately_ , Tony had his own apartment in addition to the mansion he grew up in and the Stark Tower penthouse he sometimes lived in. Yeah, he wasn’t sure why he had three different places to live all in the same city but that wasn’t important. His parents, as per the fricking norm, would be in the mansion. They’d stop by the tower when the fuck ever so Tony’s only place of solace was his Manhattan apartment. It was the only place not Stark owned (at least not to his knowledge) and his parents had no idea he lived there (again, at least not to his knowledge).  
  
Tony groaned. The only friend he had was Rhodey and they already tried _that_ before. Apparently, neither of them were that good of actors because Howard caught onto their act before they could come up with a cover. Granted, this was over ten years ago _so_ it was possible they could try it again. Hell, people did get back together with their exes sometimes; even if said ex wasn’t a real ex. Rhodey, technically, was on the payroll too so his reasoning for refusal might be identical to Pepper’s.  
  
Regardless, Tony had to make an attempt. He fished his phone out of his pocket dialing Rhodey’s number. It rang two times before he heard his other best friend’s voice. _“Hello?”_  
  
“Rhodey! I need a favor!”  
  
_“What?!”_  
  
Oh right, loud music. Sighing, Tony hung up then texted him. _‘Rhodes, I need a favor.’_  
  
He got the reply almost immediately. _‘you hung up on me? thats rude! what do you want?’_  
  
Damn Rhodey and his inability to use the shift button... or apostrophes. At least he typed out full words – most of the time. _‘I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend for my parents.’_  
  
_‘hell no tones’_ Tony glowered at the screen before he got another text. _‘and i mean that in the nicest way possible your parents ...words cant describe em.’  
  
‘You don’t think I know that?!’  
  
‘dude ya know i love ya but im not going through that shit again.’ _ Honestly, Tony couldn’t blame him for feeling that way but it didn’t make him feel any better. _‘tell them in the nicest way possible to fuck off.’  
  
‘You tell your parents to fuck off.’  
  
‘are you kidding? ma would kill me!’_  
  
Pepper returned to the table with two big ass glasses of beer. “The bartender is checking you out!” She slurred lifting one of the glasses in the bar’s direction. Tony accepted the glass that wasn’t being swayed around before turning his attention to the bartender wiping the counter. “Well not now!”  
  
“Rhodey said he’s not going through that again!” He said shaking his phone.  
  
“I don’t blame him!”  
  
Tony groaned. This was somehow his fault for only having two close friends that couldn’t stand his parents. What he needed was some super masochist that could take his parents verbal abuse and not head for the hills. Ooh! That should have been a requirement too. Tony had a gym in his apartment specifically for his parents visits – well they were solely used for phone calls since he just got the apartment a few months ago. Anyway, after talking to his parents he felt the overwhelming urge to punch or break something hence the gym. He had a feeling Pepper and Rhodey would need to use it for the weekend. Before that he lab in the mansion was used to vent the frustration of visit from the parents.  
  
At least now he could say Tony Stark was an asshole because the people who sort of raised him were even bigger assholes. The only reason he had a shred of compassion was due to Edwin Jarvis raising him most of the time, for most of his life. Jarvis was definitely the reason he had Pepper and Rhodey around too. And biweekly anger management classes.  
  
Tony and Pepper were getting steadily drunker yet no closer to finding anyone to bed or find Tony to pretend to have a relationship with, or even to find someone for him to sleep with. And to think they could be doing the same shit in New York. Shit, they could have been getting wasted in Stark Tower!  
  
“P-Pep...” Tony hiccuped. “C’mon, we should go?”  
  
Pepper groans lifting her head from the table. Tony grimaces at the drool coming from her mouth. Usually Pepper was quite attractive. Now, not so much. But Tony was sure he wasn’t fairing any better. “Cab.” She bit out then proceeded to turn to the left slightly and hurl all over the floor.  
  
Tony whistled then clutched his stomach following suit. Neither of them were lightweights, Tony was a borderline alcoholic for crying out loud! But, aw who the hell knew anymore?  
  
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>  
  
Tony wasn’t sure how the hell they got home or what home he was currently in. The last coherent thought he had was calling Jarvis – or maybe it was a text. Jarvis usually arrived before the parents did to do as much damage control as he possibly could.  
  
His blue eyes hazily took in the sight of the ceiling fan whirring overhead. He heard soft snoring to his right then craned his head as much as possible seeing Pepper sprawled out face first onto his rug. “This is what happens when you don’t have a partner to ground you.” Tony hissed – actually let out a full blown animalistic _hiss_ – as the exceedingly bright lights flip on. Beside him, Pepper let out a noise that suspiciously sounded like a growl before pressing her face even further into the rug.  
  
When Tony opens his eyes again he took in Howard’s face; his impassive yet silently judging face. “What?” Tony croaks.  
  
“You have a company to run. Or do you start off all your weekends like this?” Though Stark Industries was technically his (having created it and all that), Howard stepped down five years ago for some reason or another – Tony wasn’t listening – then he appointed said not listening son the CEO of Stark Industries and all its subsidiaries. And it wasn’t one of those _he’s Howard Stark’s son_ deals either. Tony started out as a grunt in the company. Hell, truthfully he didn’t even want it but he didn’t have a choice. So because Tony Stark does nothing half-assed he worked his ass off through the company until he was competing with Obadiah Stane for the position of CEO three years later (five years ago). Needless to say good ol’ Obie was pissed when Tony got the job and no one could accuse Howard of nepotism because everyone knew the father and son weren’t exactly close... or even cordial at times.  
  
“What happened to the iron in your backbone Anthony?”  
  
Tony groaned. The only person allowed to call him that was Jarvis. When Howard called him that it was always so condescending. “I think I expelled it with all the alcohol.” Howard shook his head. Tony checked his watch that read _6:38_ am? What the fuck? He didn’t wake up this early sober! “Why are you here?”  
  
“I came to check on you. When Jarvis said you were in the building I figured you were doing work not passed out on the floor with your personal assistant.” That answered the question of where he was. _Well,_ Tony did have that stack of completed paperwork still on his desk. Howard’s eyes flickered over to the aforementioned desk then to his son. “So did you do the paperwork _first_?”  
  
Tony groaned sitting up. “Yes Howard, I figured why not congratulate myself on a job well done and get wasted.”  
  
“Your mother has something she wants you to look over.”  
  
“It better not be anything related to matchmaking.”  
  
“Anthony—”  
  
“I’m too hungover for this.”  
  
“Like I said, this wouldn’t happen without a partner to ground you.”  
  
“ _Oh_ because that’s what Maria is to you? A ‘partner to ground you’?” Howard’s eyes narrow. “And you _wonder_ , honest to God wonder, why I don’t conform your notions of marriage and relationships?” Shaking his head, Tony shakily crawls over to Pepper nudging her awake. Her head snaps up from the carpet, her eyes narrow and she looks half a second away from snarling at him. “Shake a leg Pep, we got work.”  
  
Pepper nods then gets to her feet. Together, the two of them exit the office then head to the bathroom. Tony has never been more grateful to have a bathroom attached to his office. Realizing they went in the bathroom together they stared at one another. They’d seen one another naked before so it wasn’t a comfort issue. They approached the sink pulling out their respective toothbrushes, applying ample amounts of toothpaste then started brushing their teeth. Tony didn’t think either of them would be able to sit in or use the bathtub without accidentally drowning so they were either going to share the shower or take turns.  
  
Pepper spat her toothpaste in the sink then aggressively got to gargling. Once she spit the mouthwash in the sink she wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. If Pepper wasn’t like a sister to him (and he was strictly into incest) he would have married her already – parents ideals notwithstanding. She was fierce as all hell, smart, beautiful and got him like no one else. Oh well; then again if they _were_ in some kind of romantic and/or sexual relationship he’d probably fuck it up so he took what he could get. “Shower.” She croaks blinking unsteadily. “Do we share or take turns?”  
  
The clock overhead read _6:53_ am. If being hungover alone wouldn’t drown them being tired and hungover definitely would. “Share.”  
  
So that’s what they did. Pepper had her own place but like Rhodey she came over for non work related visits so she had a whole heap of clothing here at her disposal; as did Rhodey but he and Tony were the same height so he usually just snagged Tony’s clothes.  
  
After fifteen minutes of trying and failing to wash the hangover out of their systems, Tony and Pepper sluggishly got dressed then dually groan when Howard was accompanied with his wife in the office. “Virginia.” Maria greets getting up hugging the redhead. She releases Pepper grinning, “I see you’re taking care of our Anthony.”  
  
“Not from what I see. They were both passed out on the floor in a pool of their own vomit.” Howard retorts flipping through the paper. And Tony hoped he wasn’t being literal, he rather liked the rugs in the office. “Not exactly a fitting partner, besides the boy isn’t into women.” It almost seemed like he flipped the page angrily.  
  
Oh right. Well he wouldn’t be able to convince them that Pepper was his girlfriend even if she agreed. Though getting her to agree was the stretch in the first place. Tony sighed. His impending headache was not entirely hangover related. “I never said that, I _said_ I’m into both and every other possibility.” Howard snorted. “But I’m sure you two aren’t here to discuss my sexuality.”  
  
“I never understood why you were into both though?” Maria mused. “Or what ‘every other possibility’ could even mean. There are men and there are women, simple; surely you’d find one sex more appealing than the other—”  
  
“Its more than that.” Tony sighs. “You know what, I’m not even going to explain. You want my answer? I’m indecisive. Happy now?” He snaps. “If you two came here to piss me off, congratulations you succeeded. Where the hell is my aspirin.” He grumbles stomping over to the cupboards.  
  
Pepper smiles awkwardly as Maria returned her attention to her. “You’re so beautiful Virginia. Oh and you are indecisive as well, correct?” Pepper’s right eye twitches. ~~They technically owned the company so they could very well fire her for going off on them, or even going off at all. Hell, they could fire her for showing up to work hungover. Or taking a strictly platonic shower with her boss.~~  
  
“I think I need an aspirin as well.” She nods then walked over to the cupboards.  
  
“Give it up Maria, she isn’t going to become your daughter-in-law.” Maria scowled at him then muttered something in Italian to which he replied back also in Italian. Then the two of them started snarking at one another occasionally going from English, to Spanish, to Italian.  
  
“Two minutes. Two _minutes_ and I already want to scream.” Tony says downing his aspirin dry swallowing them. Pepper nods mimicking the action, although she takes a sip of water afterwards.  
  
“They’ll get bored eventually or find someone new to harass.”  
  
“Doubtful.” Tony hisses, “ _very_ doubtful.”  
  
Pepper grimaced. No pill in the world was going to be fast enough to quell the nausea the looks Tony’s parents were giving them – all the while still yelling at one another. And Tony wanted her to pretend to be his lover? Yeah, not happening. Assuming Tony ever did get into a relationship with someone Pepper could only feel sorry for that individual yet she’d root for them all the same.  
  
“Okay!” Tony claps his hands together loudly wincing at the noise. “We need to work so you two need to be anywhere but here.”  
  
“You forget, this was my office first.”  
  
“No it wasn’t. Obadiah has your old office.” Tony spread his arms out in front of him, “this beauty is all mine.”  
  
“Even so.” Howard angrily flipsd yet another page, “I’m not moving.”  
  
“Well we’re not moving either.” Tony takes a seat behind his desk propping his feet against it. Pepper sighs walking over to the desk sitting on it facing Tony. “I swear—”  
  
“By the way...” Howard saysd casually flipping yet another page, less angry this time. “I figured you would not know this judging by how much you don’t listen but our vow renewal and wedding anniversary is in nine days. Both of you are required to be present at the main table, well the table next to ours that is.”  
  
“Say wha—” They both exclaim. Pepper turns around so fast on the desk she nearly falls off.  
  
“Well, all Stark Industries employees are required—”  
  
“To go to your wedding anniversary!?”  
  
Howard nods still reading the newspaper (or at least pretending to read), “but that’s just a formality. It makes them feel like they’re apart of the family.”  
  
“And it gives us free gifts.”  
  
Howard nods before turning to Tony. “You, our son, and our son’s best friends...” He glances at Pepper with an unreadable expression. “Will have a table with Jarvis.”  
  
“Howard’s brother will also be sharing the table with you all.” Pepper had no idea Howard had a brother and, judging by the confusion on his face, neither did Tony. “But we need to make sure the seating chart is—”  
  
The office door flies open and Rhodey is in the doorway panting. “Oh!” He straightens up, “Tony we have an emergency.” Then he briskly walks out. Tony and Pepper exchange glances before trailing after him.  
  
Howard stills with the newspaper in his hands narrowing his eyes at the empty doorway. “If I didn’t know any better I’d say James planned that.”  
  
Maria waved him off, “don’t be ridiculous.”  
  
Meanwhile, outside (and very far away from) Tony’s office the trio stops walking when they enter an empty office. Rhodey sighs closing and locking the door behind him. “These things are soundproof, right?”  
  
Tony shrugs then glances at Pepper who also shrugs. “On that note...” She begins smiling, “you’re a lifesaver.”  
  
Rhodey grimaces, “don’t thank me just yet Pep.” The smile slips off the redhead’s face. “The ‘emergency’ in question?” He sighs, “I was just conned into bringing a date for their fiftieth wedding anniversary.”  
  
“ _Fiftieth_?” Tony exclaims. “Wait! What do you mean _conned_? How— _When_ did they even talk to you?”  
  
“The fucking ass-crack of dawn! Which is weird because California is three hours behind New York time so it had to be like two in the morning over there. Plus, I barely slept due to a three a.m. wake up call from Mr. Stark.” Tony rubs the back of his neck shrugging. Maybe he called Rhodey before Jarvis? Or maybe it was Rhodey that got them home? “So I get this call and I was doing that half-listening thing you told me works for you. However, between that and being half-asleep I heard something about seating, then a special table or something? They were asking a fuck load of questions and I yawned right when they asked if I was bringing anyone so they might have misinterpreted that as a yes. Next thing I hear, they have me _and my date_ down at the special table. Only problem is **I have no date!** I wasn’t even aware that your parents anniversary was right around the damn corner!”  
  
“That was no misinterpretation.” Tony muttered. “So, regret not pretending to be my boyfriend yet?”  
  
“How could I? They sent me a picture message of this ‘special table’ and there were empty seats Tony.”  
  
“Empty seats?” Pepper echoed. “How many?”  
  
“Two. Why?”  
  
“Oh shit.” She groaned. “I’m at the table too – which means Tony and I are either going to get assigned dates or need to bring our own.”  
  
“Assigned dates? The fuck?”  
  
“You didn’t go to the anniversary four years ago. We went as friends but the family busted my balls about it.” Tony sighs. “Also, because we weren’t together _together_ , we had assigned dance partners. I may not be religious but it had to be a miracle I caught the stomach flu that day.” The entire Carbonell family figured going to a wedding anniversary party with a friend _as a friend_ and nothing more was even worse as going alone! Which was why three years ago year he just said fuck it and went alone and ducked out early before the family could question him. He was fortunate everyone was too damn drunk to miss his presence. And that was the last anniversary he went to. For the past two years he was so damn busy with SI he couldn’t even purposely avoid attending the wedding anniversary celebration. But since he avoided them all the same he didn’t really care how but now this year they showed up to forcibly bring him there. Didn’t most parents want their children _away_ during their special days?  
  
“I’m still not all for this fake relationship thing but it beats the hell out of getting one of your cousins again.” Pepper shuddered. Either Tony’s parents really didn’t like her or it was just purebred unluckiness that she got paired up with _one of_ Tony’s handsy cousins. “Tonight the three of us are going to look—”  
  
“I can’t tonight.” Tony interrupts, “some science thing at the Baxter Building.” He shudders. Going there was always a huge pain in the ass and Reed Richards was a thousand times more insufferable than any non family member Tony ever encountered. It was nothing short of a scientific anomaly that the man was able to find a wife and have her stomach him enough to reproduce – especially since she’d need his genes to do so. Strangest thing of all was Reed’s father, Nathaniel, and Howard got along wonderfully and Reed’s old man was perhaps the sweetest man in existence, “and its not the hot scientist things either which is a shame.”  
  
“You might be surprised.” Rhodey says patting him on the shoulder. “If we can we’ll come with you.” Pepper nods with a smile.  
  
“Don’t know why you’d punish yourselves but what the hell.”  
  
>>>>>  
  
Adjusting the sunglasses on his face, Johnny looked up at the Baxter Building which was every bit as horrific as the last time he saw it. Why did Manhattan need so many large buildings anyway? Was it overcompensating for something? Nevertheless, he suppressed the need to groan and trudged inside the building greeting the flustered receptionist.  
  
He stopped to help her pick up the shattered pieces of the flower pot she broke in her haste then got into the elevator. Its not like he was in a rush or anything. Inside, he hummed along to the awful elevator music until he reached his destination of the top floor. His nostrils were immediately assaulted with a heavily floral perfume he associated with—  
  
“Jonathan!” Johnny winces as the woman bear hugs him. “You’re so big!” She coos squeezing him tighter before releasing him holding him at arm’s length. “Goodness. You look more and more like your mother everyday.” He smiles. “Oh! I brought a gift for you.”  
  
“Aunt Marygay—”  
  
“Hush now.” Johnny sighed. “My favorite nephew deserves a treat every now and again.” Well he wasn’t going to protest. Even though he was her only nephew. But who didn’t like treats? “How is that boyfriend of yours?”  
  
Johnny blushes slightly. “Aw jeez. He’s fine.”  
  
“You bring him over for dinner soon, you hear me?”  
  
“Can’t. He works nights.” His aunt rose an eyebrow. “Its true! Its nothing bad! He works at a bakery that opens at night.”  
  
“That sounds very peculiar Jonathan. But I trust your boy so I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. So if he works nights bring him over for brunch, understood?”  
  
“Yes Aunt Marygay.”  
  
She nods. “Good. Now come. Susan is pissed. Eight years Jonathan?” Johnny cringes. “How could you have not contacted her in eight years!?”  
  
“I was in a bad place and I didn’t want to drag her down with me. Besides, she was getting married and everything.” The brunette shook her head. “Then before I knew it a few years passed and it never seemed right to just pop up uninvited.” He sighs. “I know. I’m a real numskull, bonehead and everything in between. Why am I here exactly?”  
  
“Because I am tired of having Susan ask about you through me. You are going to talk to her yourself.”  
  
“What?! No! Shit Aunt Marygay, you can’t do that! There’s a reason I— _oww_ ; why’d you do that?”  
  
“Language young man.” He sighs rubbing the hand she hit. “There are children here.”  
  
“I’m...” Johnny slowly turns around spotting two tiny faces peeking in the doorway. “ _What are those things_?!” He screeches pointing.  
  
“Those _things,_ as you so eloquently put it, are your niece and nephew.” Mouth agape Johnny blinks at the tiny people that come around the corner.  
  
“Hi. I’m Valeria.” The smaller one greets. “This is Franklin.” The taller one is scowling with his arms folded over his chest. Yup, definitely Sue’s kid alright. Carbon freaking copy right there. Johnny’s seen that expression on Susan’s face almost daily in their childhood.  
  
“Why are you pissed at me kid? I don’t even know you.”  
  
“Exactly.” He bit out glaring harder.  
  
“Mommy’s told us all about you.” Valeria giggles, “you’re silly.”  
  
“Uh, thanks?”  
  
“Uncle Ben tells us about you too. Franklin really wanted to meet you.” She shrugs, “but I guess he’s just shy.”  
  
“Nah. Shy ain’t it.” The taller kid looks him up and down in utter disdain. Another mirrored expression of Sue, though to be honest it was the first time he ever saw it directed at him. “I didn’t exactly want to be here so you can go back to hating me from afar when I leave.” The kid looks torn between lunging at him and crying when Marygay intervenes.  
  
“You two run along and get your mother.” They nod running off. Shaking her head, she turns back to Johnny. “You’re making things worse.”  
  
Johnny gives a one shoulder shrug. “What do you want me to say? I’m not apart of Sue’s happy little family and I won’t just waltz in here messing it up. You guys had no right telling them about me.”  
  
“Do you even hear yourself Jonathan? You’re telling me your sister had no right telling her children about their uncle!?”  
  
“That’s exactly what I’m saying Aunt Marygay. All the things I’ve done?”  
  
“Yes you’ve made several... _dozen_ bad decisions but you are a good man. Regardless of what you think, its ultimately Susan’s choice whether or not she wants you to be apart of her children’s lives and clearly she does.”  
  
“Well Sue can make bad decisions too.”  
  
“Jonathan Lowell Spencer Storm, you will not leave this building until you have talked to your sister. Am I understood?” Sighing, the blond slumps his shoulders.  
  
“Okay, okay. I’m here. What’s the...” Johnny cringes at the gasp. “Johnny?”  
  
Slowly, he turned around giving his sister a small wave. “H-Hey Sue.”  
  
Sue stares back at him wide eyed before her eyes roll back and she falls backwards onto the floor _hard_. Johnny winces then the kids run to Sue’s side. “What’s wrong with mommy?”  
  
“He hurt her.” Franklin glares at him then turns back to his mother. “Mom?”  
  
“She’s alright. She just was surprised.” They glance up at Marygay. Sue’s eyes snap open then she sits up. Blinking she glances at the tiny bodies latched onto hers sobbing.  
  
“I’m alright. Everything’s alright.” She sighs. “I haven’t fainted since—”  
  
“The first time Reed asked you out?” Johnny says with a shrug. “Took you longer to wake up though.”  
  
“You’re taller.”  
  
Johnny nods. “I am.”  
  
“Mom.” Franklin nudges her. “Are you sure you’re okay?”  
  
“Of course. I wasn’t expecting to see Johnny here.” Franklin frowns. “What? This is my brother. Remember?” He nods slowly.  
  
“About that.” Johnny interrupts. “You shouldn’t have told them about me.”  
  
“I wanted you to tell them yourself but you didn’t give me much of a choice.” She stood despite the girl hanging from her waist. She walked over to him poking him in the chest. “You’re my brother dummy. I don’t know what deluded you into thinking because I have Reed and the kids that we’re not family anymore but you’ll always be my brother. You ran away once and I’m da...” She takes a deep breath exhaling through her nose. “I’m not letting that happen again.”  
  
Right. Sue always did have a foul mouth. It was surprising she could curb it in seemingly at will. And to think fifteen years ago the two of them were sitting on Marygay’s roof talking about how they’d never have kids or get married or do any of that stuff. At least he was still holding up his part of the deal. But she hadn’t met Reed yet so there was that.  
  
“You wanna stay for dinner?”  
  
“Can’t. Meeting my boyfriend at work.”  
  
“Your boyfriend works at night?”  
  
“Apparently.” Marygay interjects frowning. “But you’ll love him Susan he’s—”  
  
Johnny clears his throat. “ _Thanks_ Aunt Marygay.”  
  
Valeria, who finally slides down from Sue’s body, walks up to Johnny tugging on his pant leg. “You have a boyfriend?” He nods slowly. Sue had that whole bi-curiosity thing going before she and Reed became official but Johnny doubted they told the kids about that. He was pretty sure Sue still freaks out over it. “Show me a picture?” Johnny’s eyes dart around before he takes out his phone crouching to the little blonde’s level showing her his phone. “That him?” Johnny nods. “Mommy he’s pretty.” She wrinkles her nose. “No, boys aren’t pretty. He’s... he’s...”  
  
“Why can’t boys be pretty?”  
  
“Franklin says they can’t be.” They all turn to Franklin who huffs. “But if you say they can then they can.” She tugs Johnny’s pants again. “Don’t worry. I won’t tell mommy about the picture.” She nods hugging his leg.  
  
“Where are you living now?”  
  
“Brooklyn.” He eyes Sue suspiciously. “Why?”  
  
“Hm? No reason. Just curious Aunt Marygay doesn’t tell me everything much to my disappointment.”  
  
“Well... you’re gonna be a bit more disappointed because I’m not telling you which part of Brooklyn.” Sue glares at him.  
  
>>>>>>  
  
Clinton Francis Barton is a man on a mission. The blond ventured through Brooklyn simply because he could – well he actually lives in Brooklyn but Bed-Stuy (despite numerous cracks about not living in the parts with the _other_ Italian-Americans). Like being around other Italian-Americans made you more or less Italian-American. Anyway, the mission in question is walking an hour – because he is too damn broke for cab/bus fare – to see a friend he was hoping to become more than just friends with. The friend in question is a foreigner – new to both the building Clint was walking to and the country. A Russian female who was as beautiful as she was deadly. Natalia “Natasha” Alianovna Romanova was what she introduced herself as. At least that’s what Clint _hoped_ she said, his Russian was rusty. But names were universal, right?  
  
Their first encounter wasn’t exactly something Clint would want to remember (or forget to be honest) – yet the play by play was seared behind his eyelids daily. He and Bobbi, his bitchy hell born demon of an ex-wife, were still living together (i.e. _her_ mooching off _his_ couch) when the blonde she-devil brought her two friends over for one reason or the other. So there Clint was in his motherfucking _boxers_ eating an enormous bowl of Fruity Pebbles on the couch watching football [he was away from the country too long, he meant _soccer_ ] when the door opens and not just one but three beautiful women are all there _staring_ at him. Bobbi, being Bobbi, groaned then brushed past him without a second glance, meanwhile the stammering clearly flustered brunette took off after her leaving Clint and the redhead. Then she introduced herself, in Russian, and plopped down beside Clint watching the game with him. All that would have been fine if he hadn’t just woken up and was sporting a semi that couldn’t possibly be hidden under his boxers. Natasha proved to have one hell of a poker face as she _openly_ looked him up and down then dug into his box of cereal (which was way too close to his mostly naked thighs) eating a handful.  
  
If that wasn’t love at first sight right there Clint wasn’t sure what would qualify.  
  
Ever since he made it his mission to get to know Natalia – no wait, _Natasha_ a little better. Sometimes she humored him but other times she was an absolute nightmare! Bobbi swore up and down that she turned Clint off from women completely hence bringing her attractive friends over (the brunette who introduced herself, all the while blushing furiously, as Jane Foster ~~[a fucking~~ ~~ _doctor!_~~ ~~Bobbi was moving up in the world]~~ ) and walking around the apartment half naked. Clint wasn’t going to complain, he wasn’t attracted to Bobbi anymore but she was ~~still~~ attractive. When he asked her about Natasha she brushed him off, it took him two damn weeks to wear her down and convince her that he was always bisexual and no, she did not ‘turn him out.’ She seemed put out by that statement but went on to say if he wanted to know about Natasha the best bet was to ask her himself. So he did, begrudgingly. Which led to somewhat weekly visits in her Flatbush apartment. A fucking hour walk but less than fifteen minute drive from his place in Bed-Stuy. But mandatory work related therapy sessions proved that Clint wasn’t all there in the head. Also, as shallow as it sounded, Natasha was too pretty not to want to see as much as possible.  
  
Clint managed to slip in behind some old lady and her temperamental poodle then walked up the four damn flights of stairs to apartment 4-F knocking on the door. The blond rocked on his heels briefly and after about thirty seconds of silence he rang the doorbell. Damn, maybe he should have told her he’d stop by today.  
  
Suddenly a breathy all too familiar “ебать” reaches his technologically assisted ears and Clint turns around to see Natasha coming out of the apartment across the hall with a plastic bag. “Hello Clint.”  
  
Clint looks her up and down, “hello Natasha.”  
  
The door behind Natasha opens and a tiny, albeit adorable little blond is holding onto the door. “Oh.” Is the only thing he says before he tries to close the door but Natasha keeps it open with her foot.  
  
“That’s not the way we greet guests.” She chides leaning over _kissing the blond on the cheek_. “Clint, meet my boyfriend Steve.” It might be Clint’s imagination but the blond sort of gapes at the introduction briefly before straightening up extending his hand to which Clint hesitantly shakes. Natasha never made any indication of having a boyfriend although that would explain why she only mildly flirted back and hadn’t done much else. Fuck. Wasn’t this just his luck? Still, it was a bit of a cliché that she was dating her next door (or across the hall) neighbor but Clint wasn’t going to voice that. If he couldn’t be with Natasha he could still be friends with her – at least that’s what the masochistic part of his brain supplied somewhat unhelpfully.  
  
“Your boyfriend’s kinda cute.” Steve – assuming that’s his real name – blushed slightly which only seemed to make him cuter. Ah fuck, how could he be mad at this adorable little woodland creature for going out with Natasha? Shit, if they ever broke up and needed a rebound fuck Clint would be there – for both of them (maybe even at the same time). No wait, how would that work? Oh great, if having a crush on Natasha wasn’t bad enough now he was attracted to her boyfriend. Clint sighed internally, this little mental anguish was going to earn him another mandatory trip to more therapy. Well, at least Jean is a nice lady.  
  
“Clint.” The blond blinked at the fingers being snapped in front of his face. “You zoned out.” Instead of blurting out - _I certainly wasn’t thinking of fucking your boyfriend-_ like he was going to he shut his mouth – for once – and shrugged helplessly. “Well, you came to hang out right?”  
  
“Is that gonna be okay? I mean, with your boyfriend?”  
  
Natasha rolled her eyes. “I wouldn’t have asked if it wasn’t okay.” Clint glanced at Steve – again, real name pending – who shrugged.  
  
“Yeah, I guess. But I...I can’t stay for too long, ya know?”  
  
Natasha muttered something in Russian then opened her door. “I need to talk to Steve about something so I’ll be in there in a minute.” Clint nods, glancing at the couple briefly before walking inside.  
  
Steve’s leaning against his door frame shaking his head, “that him huh?” Natasha narrows her eyes but her expression otherwise remains neutral. “That’s a new low, Nat. Springing a _fake_ boyfriend on your very real crush?” The redhead’s lips quirk in that way they do when she’s frowning but trying not to show it. Steve sighs. “If you’re interested in him just ask him out and stop playing mind games.”  
  
“You don’t understand.” Steve raises an eyebrow at that. “He’s Morse’s ex-husband.” The blond whistles lowly. Not that he had a lot to go on but he heard that Barbara ‘Bobbi’ Morse was, for lack of better words – and pardon the language, one crazy bitch. He met her once and that actually confirmed the assessment given. The crazy part anyway, not so much the bitch part. “Also, he’s an openly bisexual flirt that I’m pretty sure was thinking about fucking you not even five minutes ago.”  
  
Steve seemed taken aback by that. He had this whole self-deprecating shit on about how he was barely 100 pounds and just a mass of limbs and no one in their right frame of mind could find him attractive. _Yet_ , Natasha had seen men and women alike tripping over themselves for the chance to not only talk to Steve but to take him home ~~(and only a handful of said people had a fondness exclusively for twinks)~~. Hell, one of their neighbors shamelessly leered at him every chance she could get! “Well, that doesn’t mean he’ll step out on you or anything.”  
  
“Look. I need you to keep up the charade, _neighbor_ , or I’ll get Sharon in 4-H to bake you that special pie she’s been saving which I’m sure is a euphemism for sex.”  
  
“Thanks Nat, I’m sure it is too.” Steve shoves his hands in his pocket. “You’ll owe for this, _big time_. And for the record, I do not enjoy deceiving people.”  
  
“Really? Then you shouldn’t keep up with the innocent schoolboy routine you have going on.” Steve scowls at her. “Later _boyfriend_.” He sighs walking back into his apartment.  
  
Natasha walks into her apartment watching Clint aimlessly flip channels. Steve had to go and be all morally upstanding and making her second guess her decision and whatnot. Damn him. Sighing, she plopped down a safe distance away from the blond making her presence known and, as expected, the first words out of Clint’s mouth were: “I didn’t know you had a boyfriend.”  
  
“Its... recent.” He eyes her dubiously.  
  
“Is it serious?” The redhead shrugs. “Well, congratulations I guess. He seems nice.” Natasha hums. “Does he have a brother or something?”  
  
“No Clint and even if he did I wouldn’t hook you up.” The blond snaps his fingers in disappointment. “No sister either.”  
  
“He sure is tiny though. You’re not robbing the cradle are you?” Natasha snorts shaking her head. “That’s good. So, lets get that Netflix queue up huh? I’m sure I can squeeze in a movie before I have to go.”  
  
“Its not going to be weird, is it?” Clint grimaces then turns to her. “Is it?”  
  
After a beat of silence he sighs then shakes his head. “No. I li— _know,_ know a lot of people in relationships.” He shrugs. “No big.”  
  
Natasha sighs slumping back in the seat. Damn those romantic comedies for putting terrible ideas into her head. And damn Jane for making her watch them!  
  
>>>>>>>>>>>>>  
  
Doctor Jane Foster sniffled wrinkling her nose expecting a sneeze but got nothing. When she bent down in her chair to pick up the pencil she dropped she sneezes knocking a stack of papers off her desk and onto the floor as well as her ass when the chair tipped forward in her sneeze and she slid right out of it. “Oh jeez.” She groaned sitting on the floor surrounded by paper and stationary. How the hell did she become a doctor being so damn clumsy? And it was just her luck that the handsome nurse with the funny albeit adorably medieval way of speaking was walking down the hall. It almost looked like the blond ran over to her but her eyes were watery so she wasn’t sure. He extends his giant hand to her and Jane stares at it while accepting it and the subsequent lift off the ground. Then he knelt down picking up the scattered papers. “Here you are m’lady.” Jane blushed – and not even through her own volition either, it just happened! But, that aside, his manner of speech was adorable! How could anyone function working along side that? Most of the staff swooned at the sight of the guy. Come to think of it this was the first time he actually ever spoke to her. Jane only heard his voice from afar (it had a tendency to carry) but it was even more beautiful (and oddly less loud) yet no less jovial up close. “Are you injured?”  
  
Jane shakes her head furiously. “I’m fine.” She squeaks grimacing at her voice going up one octave too many. What the hell was up with her today? The handsome nurse’s identification card pin thing (she was so damn flustered she couldn’t remember the name of the thing all the employees had to wear. Ah, a _badge!_ ). The handsome— _the blond’s_ name badge read Odinson, Thor; underneath his name said nurse and pediatrics. That probably explained why it took her two months to notice everyone crowding to the pediatric division during lunch breaks. Then again, Jane Foster was usually the last one in the loop assuming she even knew there was a loop.  
  
“Here.” He said handing her the papers.  
  
“Thank you.” She manages to suppress the sigh of relief with her voice going back to normal. She also managed not to cradle the papers against her chest so that was a win in her book.  
  
“You are most welcome.” He smiles so damn brightly she actually had to squint due to its intensity. “I shall see you around Doctor Foster.” Jane nods dumbly as the blond walks off. Almost immediately, staff come from all available corners crowding him though it was a surprise no one did that a few minutes ago when he arrived. Oh well. It was a non issue, she had to get the paperwork to to the chief.  
  
She scoops up the papers noticing the lack of her name badge. Gasping, she drops the papers, that thankfully stayed on the desk, then crouches to the floor seeing if her badge was there. When the search came up empty she stands putting her hands on her hips before panic could ensue she opens each of the drawers then when she reaches the middle right one she locates her name badge under her _other_ name badge from her second job. She clips the hospital one on her collar then frowns. Just how the hell did he know her name without her wearing her badge?!!  
  
The hospital was vast and Jane wasn’t the prettiest, _bustiest_ , or loudest employee around. She definitely wouldn’t get noticed from someone like nurse Thor. And that felt better to think than the handsome nurse. It was probably a coincidence he knew her name. Maybe someone mentioned her in passing? Again, a non issue – except it wasn’t. Even if he checked the charts there was no face to put to the name. And she wasn’t the only Foster in the building either.  
  
Just because Thor was beautiful it didn’t rule out the possibility of him being a psychopath or stalker.  
  
Jane shook her head. She was hanging around Bobbi and Natasha too long putting crazy thoughts into her head. Sighing, she starts walking only to bump into a wall of solid muscle. “мечтает снова, Doctor Foster?” She looked up, stepped back, then scowled at the smirking face.  
  
It wasn’t completely unheard of to learn a new language on the fly but Jane owed her impromptu Russian lessons to the man in front of her. “нет.” She replied adjusting the papers in her hands. She looked the brunet up and down. “Finished for the day?” He rose an eyebrow and she sighed. “закончил в течение дня?” She asked again. It was probably choppy because he was the only person she spoke Russian to. Natasha swore in Russian _a lot_ but had no idea Jane understood it. The brunette was torn between telling her and keeping it a secret.  
  
“Готовясь к работе.” He says with a shrug. “Pierce claimed to have some kind of announcement for us.” He said. She blinked because he said it in English. There probably wasn’t a translation for it – _or_ judging by his mischievous grin he meant to say it in English.

“Oh yeah?” In addition to the doctor – patient relationship they had here, Jane and the brunet were co-workers at a bakery a couple blocks away. They met in the hospital the first day Jane transferred over to start her residency. It was also when she was battling cancer and the brunet was the only person not to treat her like she was made of glass about to fall apart right in front of him. Well, he probably knew how that felt since he only has one arm. They instantly clicked and he was with Jane every step of her recovery. The only possible way she could repay him was help with his physical therapy at the hospital and not treat him like an invalid in the bakery. But the rest of the staff didn’t see the brunet’s lack of a left arm as a hindrance which was an incredible relief because those bastards were brutal but, apparently, not monsters; nor ablests which was an even bigger plus.  
  
The brunet nods with a grin. They also spoke Russian in the bakery much to the utter irritation of their co-workers that couldn’t understand them. Which was roughly, ninety-nine percent of them. “Yeah.” He drawls, “Вы получили около часа влево, вправо?” She nods. Though she had no idea how easy it was for him to slip into both languages fluently. “Увидимся там, и я спасу вас некоторые остатки.” He gives her the two-fingered salute before walking down the hall.  
  
>>>>>>>>>>  
  
Thor watched the one armed brunet walk down the hall saluting Doctor Foster. The brunet, James, came by for therapy twice a week and whenever he was not receiving the therapy in question (and sometimes when he was) he was always in the company of Doctor Foster. At first, Thor assumed they were dating [as sad as the thought was] and who could blame him? The two were incredibly close, sharing embraces, sharing food, even speaking a language others could not understand. Thor tackled the Amazon with less fear than he had when he approached the brunet asking – as casually as he could – about the doctor no one seemed to want to give him the name of.  
  
He asked co-workers but apparently they didn’t notice her as much as she didn’t notice them. And since she was always alone (or with James) there was no one else he could ask.  
  
Thor had seen her in passing his first day of work. Unlike the other employees that stopped and stared— _gawked_ really _—_ at him, the brunette just passed by her nose in a book not even registering his (or anyone else's) existence. Then she almost toppled head first into the trash can but James came down the hall, grabbed her by the arm then steered her away. Either she was used to such behavior or was too absorbed in the book to realize she was being led in a different direction. The rest of the staff was too busy cooing over him to notice that little interaction. Ever since, Thor found himself seeking out the doctor both disappointed and amazed that she never noticed him.  
  
It was James that approached him first asking what his intentions were with the brunette; and because no sane individual would ask another what their intentions were with their own lover, Thor felt a huge sigh of relief knowing they were not involved in any way. Then he asked for her name. James gave him a puzzled look answering the question with a question. _His exact words were: ‘The brunette I’m—? You mean Jane?’_  
  
Jane was perhaps the loveliest name his ears ever had the pleasure of hearing, his lips the pleasure of breathing as he uttered it; getting a feel for the sound. But Thor was always told he was a hopeless romantic.  
  
Loki teased him mercilessly for it. Had his brother witnessed the interaction he would no doubt call Thor a coward. Romance was not a battle that could be won easily, if it could be won at all, and he’d rather be a coward than a fool.  
  
He and Loki spent years learning languages as they traveled the globe. But apparently there was this thing called the _Rosetta Stone_ which was just as effective but less costly. Then again, the best way to learn new languages was to experience them. Money didn’t matter though, Odin – when he was still supporting them – was rich and they had enough money to peruse the globe several times over after leaving Norway.  
  
But who the hell knew where Loki was now. Sometime after France they got into an argument (yet again) and went their separate ways ( _yet again_ ). After spending a few weeks in Brazil, Thor came to America – well _North_ America – and found himself a job. Working was weird at first but he was already a certified nurse – though he had to retest to make sure it was legal. Before he knew it weeks turned into months and here he was two months later still here. Two months may not seem like a long time but it was the longest since initially traveling that he stayed in the same place.  
  
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>  
  
Hospitals sucked. Period. A bunch of stuffy asshats with their condescending attitudes and boring ass white coats. Thomas Maximoff shuddered walking down the hall. Hospitals always made him cold. Another reason he hated them. But his current reason for loathing them was because his twin was being ‘treated’ and it took him weeks to be able to convince the doctors, the psychiatrists, the fucking state of New York that William Maximoff was not a danger to himself or those around him.  
  
Sure the Maximoff-Lehnsherr bloodline might have had some crazy ass fuckers but Billy was perhaps (next to Tommy of course) the most sane of them all. It wasn’t Billy’s fault the assholes bullied him, it wasn’t even Billy’s fault he retaliated. Had he not been bullied he wouldn’t have had to beat the shit out of his assailant. And really why did _he_ get in trouble when the guy was beating on him first?  
  
Before he could knock on the door the black-haired version of himself stood on the other side opening his arms out and Tommy couldn’t help but walk into the embrace. They stepped back holding one another’s hands. “Lets get you the hell out of here, huh?” Billy smiles with a nod. Tommy puts an arm over his brother’s shoulder as they start walking. Billy has a large plastic bag that he’s dragging on the floor. “What’s that?”  
  
“The stuff uncle Pietro brought when he visited me.” Tommy nods. It was his idea to bring Billy the stuff because if he couldn’t physically visit him he was still going to make his presence known showing his brother he wasn’t alone. Billy glances at him and Tommy nervously glanced back. “Thanks.” Oh right, they were twins. Obviously they were going to have that connection.  
  
“No thanks necessary bro.”  
  
“Oh, hold on.” Tommy blinks as Billy approaches a rather large bald dude holding a baby. “Hi Luke.”  
  
The man looks down. “Oh, hey kid. You leaving?” Billy nods. “Oh, that him? Your brother?” Billy nods again. Tommy cautiously approaches the bodybuilding dude that could easily bench press both of them at the same time. “Luke Cage.”  
  
“Tommy Maximoff.”  
  
They shake hands, Luke’s practically encompasses his. “You take good care of your brother. He’s a good kid.” Tommy nods grinning at his brother who blushes slightly. The baby waves at both of them.  
  
“What’s wrong with Dani?”  
  
“You know...” He sighs, “I didn’t want to be one of those fathers that just shows up randomly at hospitals over every little thing wrong or _not wrong_ with their kid.” He grimaced.  
  
“Then I guess its a good thing Dani’s mom is a nurse, huh?”  
  
“That actually makes things worse.” He rubs the back of his neck cradling Dani closer. “She tells me shit I don’t even want to know about so casually if kinda makes me crazy.”  
  
“You’re talking about _me_ aren’t you?” Tommy glanced at the redhead walking over to them. Dani screeched making grabby hands at the woman. The woman laughs taking the baby. “Oh, hey Billy.” She greets adjusting the baby so she could hug the black-haired teen. “This is Tommy then?” Billy nods then before Tommy can realize what’s happening the woman is hugging him. “I’m Jessica Jones.”  
  
“I’m surprised you’re here alone.” Jessica glares at him. “What? Dani sees your girlfriend more than me.”  
  
“Please.” Jessica rolls her eyes. “Jessica and I are just friends.” Both Luke and Billy snort at that. “And furthermore, I can’t help that she comes around when I have Dani. So what’s wrong with my baby? Other than the fact that you’re her father?” She sticks her tongue out.  
  
“That’s harsh but marginally better than you being her mother.” Jessica gasps indignantly, “she keeps coughing.” As if one cue, the two-year-old coughs a bit.  
  
“I don’t understand how you can readjust your broken shoulder without so much as a squirm yet bring our daughter in for a fucking cough.”  
  
“Well excuse the hell out of me. I know my limits but I can’t just take risks with her.”  
  
“That’s bullshit and you know it.”  
  
“You two just casually swear in front of your daughter?”  
  
The two of them turn to the brunette who leans against the counter, “she’s gonna hear it eventually.” They reply before turning back to one another.  
  
“Luke, you need to stop freaking out over every little thing. The preschool called and said you were hovering around and interrogating people. A couple broke out in tears!”  
  
“Funny you should mention that, they called me about how you got into a screaming match with the father of a little boy that pushed our daughter.”  
  
“That’s not the same thing. That kid had no right pushing Dani. I would have decked him—”  
  
“ _The kid?_ ”  
  
“ _No_. The father. Hell, I would have decked the kid too if the principal hadn’t showed up.”  
  
“So you realize you’re practically in no position to talk about me, when you are threatening children.”  
  
“I did not _threaten_ anyone Cage. You push my kid, I push you. Not a threat.” Luke shook his head. “And I know you saw that whooping cough commercial which is why you nearly mowed some of the nurses down.”  
  
“Jess please, if I came in here for every baby related commercial I saw I’d never leave.” The other, brunette, Jessica takes Dani from the redhead Jessica. “We were watching TV when she started coughing, then her bronchitis started acting up and she coughed up a bit of blood—”  
  
Jessica stiffened. “Why didn’t you tell me she coughed up blood!?”  
  
“You’re being hypocritical Jess.”  
  
“Shut it Drew.” The brunette Jessica shook her head. “Coughing is one thing but coughing up blood is something else!” She grabbed Luke by the arm then started dragging him down the hall. “Bye Billy, bye Billy’s brother!” She yelled. Sighing, the other Jessica followed them.  
  
“Well, they were interesting.”  
  
Billy shakes his head, “yeah... that was nothing.” Tommy flinches as a blood curdling scream reverberates through the halls. “And on that note, we need to go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to Google for the translating... all from Russian to English  
> ебать means _fuck_  
>  мечтает снова - loosely - means _daydreaming again_  
>  закончил в течение дня - as I state, means - _finished for the day_  
>  Готовясь к работе means _getting ready for work_  
>  Вы получили около часа влево, вправо means _you got about an hour left, right_  
>  Увидимся там, и я спасу вас некоторые остатки means _see you there, and I'll save you some leftovers_


	2. Baked & Crushed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The employees of _Sugar Crushed_ are foul-mouthed weirdos... but they're hot foul-mouthed weirdos so that evens things out.

Natasha leans back in the couch taking the offered popcorn bowl then picks up a few pieces eating them. “So, this is what fake couples do? Watch cheesy romantic comedies on the couch together? Are we getting inspiration?”  
  
“I’d throw some popcorn at you but I don’t want to waste it.”  
  
“Plus you’d get ants throwing food on the floor.”  
  
“True.” Natasha nods glancing at the blond out the corner of her eye, “speaking of things fake couples do...” Steve slowly turns to her frowning. “I haven’t said anything yet don’t make that face.” His frown deepens. “Okay. So, this morning before the whole fake boyfriend thing I received an invitation to that Stark wedding renewal anniversary bullshit thing all over the news. I was going to ask you to go as a friend but as my fake boyfriend you’re pretty much obligated to be my plus one, right?”  
  
“Theoretically.”  
  
Natasha nods, “so... in the interest of having a leggy blond on my arm its either you or Carol.”  
  
“Its like in a week, right?” Natasha nods again. “I might have to work.”  
  
“You honestly think your boss wouldn’t give you the day off?”  
  
“Nat, I’ve only been working there two weeks. They still refer to me as _the new guy_.”  
  
“You told me its just been the seven of them for three and a half months, you’ll generally always be the new guy to them.”  
  
Steve sighed sitting up, running a hand down his face. “How did you get an invite? I thought that thing was disgustingly exclusive.”  
  
“Being an assistant has its perks, they invited the whole damn firm.”  
  
Steve whistles. “You guys must have helped with something big then.”  
  
“Must have. According to the boss, the Starks are regulars. Also according to the boss, they’re inviting everyone that helped save their asses over the course of their fifty years together.”  
  
“If I can get he day off I’ll go but if not I’m sure Carol will be happy to accompany you.” Natasha shrugs, “I do happen to know another blond – possibly leggy – that you could take in my place?”  
  
“No.”  
  
“No?”  
  
“ _No_ Steve, I am absolutely not taking Clint. _Or_ Bobbi. Especially not Bobbi.” Anything wedding related sends the blonde into a fit of rage for reasons she refused to explain because according to both parties their marriage ended amicably.  
  
“Fine, fine. I just had a thought is all.” He gets up, “anyway, its been fun as always. I gotta head to work.” Natasha checked the clock on the television that said 3:31pm.  
  
“I thought they opened like six?”  
  
“I don’t know _when_ they open but the boss said to come in around four for inventory or something.” Steve shrugs. “He wasn’t making much sense so I sort of wasn’t paying attention.”  
  
Natasha shook her head, “that’s terrible. Hey, bring me back a pastry.”  
  
“I’ll see what I can do.”  
  
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>  
  
When Alexander Pierce opened _Sugar Crushed_ four months ago he hired the first seven people that stepped foot inside the shop: Margaret Carter, Brock Rumlow, Samuel Wilson, Flash Thompson, Peter Quill, James Barnes and Jane Foster. Not exactly a good business practice but what the hell... you gotta start somewhere, right? Plus none of them were complaining. Then three months later he actually started conducting interviews after finding his employees genders heavily favored the male persuasion. Sure there were only three more men than women but three was a number too many.  
  
He ‘hired’ damn near everyone that came looking for the job but getting through the work _night_ was a different story. The bakery opened in the afternoon and stayed open until eight in the morning – most days. Because people went out partying and clubbing and craved sweets in the wee hours of the night/morning so they got a lot of business [usually in the form of drunk party goers, stoners or those businessmen that needed sugar at odd hours to function] and currently had no competitors. Pierce thought about changing the hours but decided to keep the vampire hours going. His employees were damn night owls anyway.  
  
The strangest thing of all was most of them were complete strangers to each other before getting hired. The only people that knew one another, and came in together, were Jane and James.  
  
As Pierce cautiously came out of his office his ears were assaulted with loud music and his eyes caught the sight of the majority of his employees dancing on the counter singing loudly. _This_ was why he never left them alone for too long before business hours. Well, after their first night together he couldn’t keep them alone _after_ business hours either. He just couldn’t leave them alone period.  
  
To celebrate the first day of work the shop closed early and Pierce took his new employees out to a bar a few blocks over – they somehow ended up in a bar fight. _All seven of them_. Jane, perhaps the only employee that did not appear to actively pick fights just for the hell of it, was either a mean drunk... or a crazy one; she hopped on a guy roughly twice her size... until the guy plucked her off his back like a piece of lint and threw her into the bar. Then James – one arm and all – beats the hell out of the guy. When the guy’s goons showed up the rest of the group got to work kicking their asses.  
  
It was the strangest post first day of work in existence and the force that brought the seven of them together. Well _that_ or the morning they all spent in prison.  
  
When Steve was hired Pierce immediately thought he’d go the way of the other countless new hires employed but the blond managed to last almost two weeks without running off due to the varying levels of craziness from his other employees. It should also be noted that Steve had not slept with a certain employee – Brock – that slept with every other new hire that stepped foot into the store. Sure, they were all women before Steve but that didn’t mean Brock had to have sex with _all of them_. The only reason Pierce kept hiring women was so that _he_ could sleep with them. Not Brock. After all, there was no way he could sleep with the two women he currently had employed. ~~Not to say Pierce couldn’t find women on his own to sleep with outside of the shop.~~

Didn’t matter though, every 'new hire' got scared away from the craziness bit – and the fact that the seven of them stuck together like some sort of gang.  
  
They were warming up to Steve, which was good, still called him _the new guy_ though.  
  
Because Pierce clearly hired people who were highly trained professional spies and/or assassins either currently or in a previous life, before he approached the counter they shut off the music. “Boss.” The five of them greeted.  
  
“Employees.” Pierce greeted back. “I hope we have another productive work day and Brock?” The black-haired man in question raises an eyebrow, “please keep the flirting to a minimum?”  
  
“Hey. Tell that to the customers boss.”  
  
The sound of cheering could be heard overhead and everyone’s heads snapped toward the door. “Hi Steve!” They greeted. Pierce cringes. Maybe he _shouldn’t_ have them collectively greet everyone that walks in (by name if they knew it). The blond waves back his greeting and Pierce motions him over.  
  
“Alright, now that most of us—”  
  
Fireworks going off overhead has everyone turn to the doorway where James, trailing in a wagon of all things, walks in. “Hi James!” They greet. Yeah, that greeting shit had to go. Or maybe that random noise door opening thing had to go?  
  
“Hi everyone!” The brunet comes in with the wagon, “I come bearing gifts!”  
  
“Wait!” Pierce yells as the five of them make a move to get off the counter. They freeze staring at the boss. “I wasn’t done. We’re having a very important customer come in today. So... if they comes here before Jane gets here...” Shit this is difficult. It might not be ‘ _normal_ ’ for a boss to be terrified of his employees but when you have six scary looking people: four of which are pretty damn big dudes, a regular sized guy with what Brock calls a ‘resting bitch face’ and finally a lady that oozes both beauty and killing intent _naturally_ you can’t possibly _not_ be scared. Fortunately, said fear is more of an internal thing for him. He is eternally grateful Jane came with James that day but even with Steve – in a purely aesthetic way – the majority did not rule in cute’s favor. “Which of you volunteer to man the counter and greet them?” The seven of them look among each other frowning. “I need a friendly face to greet them.”  
  
“If you need someone to flirt with them I can’t, you just said—”  
  
“ _Thank you_ Brock. Anyone else?”  
  
The group continues to stare at one another before: “Oh for fuck’s sake. _I’ll_ do it.”  
  
“Thank you Sam.” The aforementioned man just grunts in reply. “Someone tell Jane when she comes in.”  
  
“Why is this important customer coming in today and who the hell is it?”  
  
“I don’t know the answer to any of those questions Mr. Rumlow. So just make sure you are on your best behavior which means stick to one accent Ms. Carter.” Peggy salutes him. “Mr. Quill, keep your theories on space travel to yourself.” The tall blond nods, “and Mr. Thompson even if they ask please do not show anyone your prosthetic legs.”  
  
“But they’re cool as fuck!” Brock protests.  
  
“I do not care. Lets see... who am I missing? Ah yes, Mr. Barnes that means any and all fabricated stories about the loss of your arm are also out.” James sighs with a nod, “oh and this also means don’t tell anyone the true story of your arm loss.”  
  
“You’re gonna make this day suck, aren’t you?” Peter asks frowning.  
  
“No. The store needs good publicity that selfie thing you had isn’t bringing in as much people.”  
  
“We all need twitter accounts.” Peter says sitting on the counter, “or the shop needs one. Hell, I’d settle for a website.”  
  
“Good. Work on that. Oh! Before I forget, Mr. Rogers.” Steve straightens up, “we may not have that whole _the customer is always right_ ideal but try not to argue with the customers? Even if they are wrong.” He nods solemnly.  
  
“Okay, so you’re basically telling us to not be ourselves, right?” Sam asks. “What about me? What do I have to not do today?”  
  
“ _You_? You’re the only one that doesn’t get customer complaints—”  
  
“We get _complaints_!?” They yell.  
  
“ _Yes_! Customers have little comment cards or reviews or whatever. No one _ever_ complains about Sam and before you ask James, Jane has been referred to as... _flighty_.” James balls up his right fist and his fingers crack. “Oh! One _collective_ complaint is that none of you are friendly.”  
  
Brock snorts. “You hired us because we’re eye candy not because we’re nice people.”  
  
“I _hired you_ , all of you, because you were the first people that came into the shop.”  
  
“Yeah but you didn’t have to keep us.” Brock replies hopping off the counter picking up a magazine that’s cover reads: _Marsala – 2015 Color Of The Year. What This Color Means For You!_  
  
Damn, that was true. He could have easily fired all of them. Especially considering most of them had zero experience baking, decorating or even selling desserts. The fact that they were all viewed as attractive does bring in most of their business. Plus they were quick studies _and_ as long as  he had the business license and baking certificated he didn’t have to employ certified bakers. So if customers found the employees as aesthetically pleasing as the desserts who was he to stop them? Whoa, that might be considered shallow... _oh well_.  
  
He’s his own boss, who the hell cares about his ethics... or lack thereof. “Now if anyone needs me I’ll be in my office.” He nods to all of them before walking off. Before he closes the door he hears the music start up again and he sighs. Thank goodness it was the weekend, the busyness might corral his rowdy employees.  
  
>>>>>>>>>>>>>  
  
Under normal circumstances, Tony enjoyed the hell out of the weekends but despite not being in the office his parents were _still_ in the building that was kind of impossible. It was impossible to be happy being in the same _state_ as Howard and Maria Stark.  
  
He walked over to his bar opening the mini fridge taking out a can of beer opening it then chugging it down.  
  
When he, Rhodey and Pepper returned his parents were gone (huge sigh of relief) but Jarvis stopped him before he could do his happy dance and told them Howard went to R &D – undoubtedly terrifying the absolute hell out of employees; Maria was just walking around – looking for potential prospects which was terrifying in its own right.  
  
It was almost four and he didn’t have to be at the Baxter Building until six and it was like a ten minute walk so he wasn’t pressed for time or anything. Unfortunately, that meant he had two hours to kill and he was not going to sit here in case his parents returned and started grilling him. _Especially_ , after what Rhodey told them. In all honesty it would not be the first time they attempted to set him up just to make themselves look good. Even after telling them he found men just as appealing they still stuck to setting him up with women convinced they could ‘help him’ with his apparent confusion. That lasted for about a year until Howard found Tony in the restaurant bathroom getting a blowjob from one of the very _male_ members of the wait staff. So while he had nothing further to do with playing matchmaker Maria took it upon herself to pick up the slack adding men to the hook ups as well. How do you tell your stubborn as fuck parents that you could find your own sex partners and hooking up your twenty _then_ thirty-something year old son was excruciatingly awkward? Then when New York legalized same sex marriage she flipped the hell out because she was convinced Tony wasn’t into marriage because he couldn’t marry another man. “Pep, we’re taking a late lunch.”  
  
Pepper stuck her head into the door. “Are we ordering in?”  
  
“No.” Tony grinned, “we’re going out. _Out_ out. Like, right now. Rhodey still here?” She nods. “Call him. Tell him to meet us on the roof in five minutes.”  
  
“Roof?” Pepper walks into the office folding her arms over her chest in that way that told Tony he wasn’t going to bullshit his way out of not answering her.  
  
“What do you say we do D.C. for lunch?”  
  
“You want to go to Washington D.C. for lunch?” Pepper asks in that way she normally did when she thought he was being an idiot which is impossible seeing as how he is a genius; scientifically tested and listed as one of the smartest people on the planet and whatnot.  
  
Tony nods. “Why not? Its not like I can’t afford it.” Pepper fixes him with a flat look. “ _Fine_. We’ll stay in the state. What do you say to Long Island? No, we won’t make it back in time. Are you positive on no D.C.?”  
  
“Why would you—” She pinches the bridge of her nose. “We’re getting cheesestakes.” Then she promptly walks off.  
  
“Ooh! Straight from Philly?!” He pauses as he hears nothing. “Pepper?”  
  
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>  
  
Getting an interview at Stark Industries was a dream come true to most people, even during the whole we make weapons that can potentially kill you phase – which started the company. Stark Industries was ~~a family owned business~~ created by Howard Stark Jr. after working on some kind of project with his father Howard Stark Sr. but only a seasoned fangirl or fanboy would know information like that. Most people wanted to work here because the Stark family had money and, therefore, would pay well. Despite Anthony Stark being labeled as an insufferable ‘diva’ and occasional slave driver.  
  
“Excuse me, Ms. Ross?” The brunette’s head snapped up toward the receptionist walking toward her. “Mr. Stark is on his way out and cannot conduct any interviews at the moment.”  
  
“He’s the one that told me to come here at four today.”  
  
“Yeah...” The receptionist drawls seemingly not giving a shit, “he has a tendency to forget things.” Betty sighed. “Would you like me to schedule you another appointment?”  
  
“No. I’ll wait for him to come back.”  
  
“Hey, if that’s what you want.” The receptionist shrugs walking back over to the desk.  
  
The elevator doors ping open and Tony Stark himself and a redhead come out laughing. Well, this might work better than she imagined. “Mr. Stark!” Tony’s head turns in her direction as he and the redhead stop walking. The redhead in question was probably the fabled Pepper Potts – the only person in existence able to curb Tony Stark’s eccentricities if they become too ...intense. She briskly walks over to him surprised that there are no security guards tackling her to the ground. She heard stories of shit like that happening. “Hi. I’m Elizabeth Ross and I have a job interview with you today.”  
  
Tony glances at the redhead who shrugs. “You do?” She nods. “Pep you’re usually supposed to tell me these things.”  
  
“I am? Oh right! But I never spoke to any Elizabeth anyone recently.” Before this moment Pepper Potts was thought to be simply a myth because there were no actual pictures of her but all claims stated her to be an attractive redhead that did not succumb to the charms of Tony Stark.  
  
“Maybe Rhodey did?”  
  
“What did Rhodey do?” Betty turns to the newcomer.  
  
“I said _roof_ Rhodes, not lobby.” This ‘Rhodey’ guy rolls his eyes. He was also seemingly a myth James Rhodes – otherwise known as Rhodey, the other half of the ‘corral Tony Stark’ squad.

“Anyway, I’m not one to renege on things and since you’re already here you might as well come along.”  
  
“Uh, where exactly?”  
  
“You’ll have to ask Pepper that.” Now Pepper rolls her eyes. “Well, wherever we’re going we can conduct an interview on the way. What did you say your name was again?”  
  
“Elizabeth but Betty is fine.”  
  
“Aren’t people named Elizabeth usually _Liz_?” Tony whispers and Pepper shrugs. “Anyways, Betty?” He glances at Pepper then Rhodey before turning back to her. “Betty what?”  
  
“Betty Ross.”  
  
“Ross.” The redhead begins eyebrows furrowing. “As in _General Ross?_ Or as in Ross is simply a common surname and terrible coincidence?”  
  
“The former.” She should have gone with that fake name. Or lied. But you go to jail for that, right?  
  
“Wait. You are related to General Whatever the Fuck His First Name is ‘Thunderbolt’ Ross? The biggest douche to ever have douched – no offense? And this is coming from me, the son of Howard Stark?”  
  
“Yeah. I’m his daughter.”  
  
Pepper, Rhodey and Tony whistle. “Damn. Well, far be it from me to discriminate anyone due to family.”  
  
“You’ll still interview me?”  
  
“Of course! You’re not your father. And though I despite your old man with every fiber of my being that won’t be held against you.”  
  
“Uh... thanks?”  
  
“No problem. Now, lets get going. Rhodey, you have experience with flying helicopters, right?” Rhodey balks but Tony slings an arm around him. “What? Helicopters are classy as fuck.”  
  
“Why do we need a helicopter?”  
  
Tony tsks shaking his head. “How else are we going to travel?” He rubs his hands together, “I’m thinking chocolate. We should be able to make it to Boston and back in two hours right?”  
  
“What? Tony, no!”  
  
“Why Boston?” Rhodey pauses then nods. “Ah. The Ghirardelli store. New York needs one. Seriously.” Tony nods in agreement. “Just go to one of the Godiva stores instead.”  
  
“Can we still take the helicopter?”  
  
Rhodey sighs, “sure Tony. Why not.”  
  
“ _Or_.” Pepper interrupts, “we can not take the helicopter and take a car and _maybe_ just maybe we can take the helicopter to the Baxter Building.”  
  
Rhodey and Tony exchange glances. “We agree to your terms Ms. Potts.” The former replies and the latter nods. “If I’m flying the helicopter later Tony you’re driving now.” Tony cracks his knuckles. “And...” He glances at Rhodey, “you gotta obey the speed limits.”  
  
“ _Fine_.” Tony huffs. “See if you get any fancy chocolates... or flowers or anything.”  
  
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>  
  
Jane sighed in relief then cracked her knuckles pushing her seat away from the desk. “Paging Doctor Foster~” Jane glances up at the bouquet of flowers in front of her. Before she could do or say anything, the flowers are lowered revealing a beaming redhead. “Lovely weather we’re having right?” He waggled his eyebrows.  
  
“Oh yes. Very lovely.” She frowned. “What—”  
  
“Hold that thought. You familiar with a hulking blond fella?” Jane blinks at him. “Talks like he’s rehearsing for a Shakespeare play? Gave me the evil eye when I asked where you might be.”  
  
“Hulking blond...” _Shakespearean?_ He wasn’t talking about nurse Thor, was he? But how many other hulking blonds did the hospital employ? No, seriously. That was an honest question. “Uh... I’m not familiar with anyone.” She shrugs. “Who are the flowers for?” He plucks one off the bouquet then adjusts it in her hair. “Oh. Well thank you. What about the rest?”  
  
“Dum-Dum!” A redhead bear hugs the man with the flowers. “Aw you shouldn’t have!” She exclaims taking the bouquet.  
  
“Hey! Those are for Dani!”  
  
“And I am her mother.” She stuck out her tongue. “Oh, hey Jane.” Jane waved in reply. Most of the employees of the hospital were terrified of Jessica Jones. And the fear had almost nothing to do with the fact that her best friend and father of her child could very well easily snap a man in half – or at least appeared to be able to do that. Jessica on her own was just terrifying but Jessica and Luke together made residents and patients alike turn in the opposite direction avoiding direct contact with them.  
  
“Is she okay? When Luke called me I was already in the flower shop so I decided to—”  
  
“Hold on. _Why_ were you in the flower shop?”  
  
A sigh. “Gabriel Fucking Jones.” Jessica nods sympathetically. “He said but Dum-Dum who else am I gonna get? You’re my best friend. That sort of shit.”  
  
“I’d bet your wide assortment of hats he’s bullshitting you.”  
  
Dum-Dum snorts. “I’d never bet my hats.”  
  
“Speaking of...” Jessica gestures to his head, “you aren’t wearing one.”  
  
“I know.” She quirks an eyebrow. “Enough about me. I came to escort Ms. Doctor Foster to Sugar Crushed.”  
  
“Are you here at James’ request?” Jessica asks.  
  
“Why do you think I do everything for James? Why can’t I just come and see Jane of my own volition? No one made me come here you know.”  
  
“Timothy Aloysius Cadwallader Dugan.” Jessica folded her arms over her chest narrowing her eyes.  
  
“You can’t use your mom voice at me with my full name! I’m a grown man!” Her eyes narrow further and he groans. “Are you sure you’re not Irish? You could be my mother. Sound just like her too.” He shakes his head. “Like I said! No one made me come. I came here of my own free will.”  
  
“But when James heard from Gabe he asked you to bring Jane to there?”  
  
“No.” He sighs. “Its an honest coincidence, I need to pick up an order.” He sighs heavier. “And since I wanted to see Dani anyway its the whole two birds one stone deal.”  
  
“So the buddy buddy sitcom life with you and Gabe isn’t working out the way you expected, huh?”  
  
“My ex-wife, may the lord bless her soul, was better company than Gabe. If he didn’t put in for half the rent I’d kick him out.” Dum-Dum nods folding his arms over his chest. “Also, he cooks so that’s good too. And buys the good booze.” Jane and Jessica chuckle. “You two laugh but wait until you get roommates that eat all your food and criticize your collection of hats.”  
  
Jessica fixes him with a pointed stare. “I lived with Luke both before and after Dani’s birth. The guy took up the entire apartment. But I was the one criticizing everything.”  
  
Jane shrugs as they look at her. “Never had a roommate past college.”  
  
“You and James don’t live together?” Jane shakes her head. “I guess I get that. You two are already living in one another’s pockets.”  
  
“I never understood that phrase.” Dum-Dum says frowning. “So, lets get you to work huh?”  
  
Jessica rolls her eyes. “Anyway— _wait_ , I’m sorry. She _works_ at that bakery?” Frowning, Jessica gently puts the bouquet down before hastily taking her phone out of her pocket. “Look! Two days ago I went to Sugar Crushed for that $5 group selfie thing.” She shows them various pictures of her and the employees of the bakery. “There is no Jane in any of these pictures!”  
  
“You said two days ago?” Jessica nods, “I missed the first hour of that because I was here but I’m not the only one missing.” She pointed to the picture, “you’re also missing Peggy and Flash.”  
  
“Son of a bitch! I’m coming with you guys, I need my damn _group_ photo. Do not leave without me!” Then she picks up the flowers then marches off.  
  
Dum-Dum turns to her shaking his head. “You had to say something, didn’t you?” Jane sighs.  
  
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>  
  
He wasn’t sure what to say; what to think when he saw the woman angrily huffing as she stomped out of the room shouting obscenities. His initial nervousness increased tenfold. Peter Benjamin Parker was a _photographer_ he did not do interviews dammit! Unfortunately Jameson didn’t seem to give a shit and stuck him on solo interview duty while having to be the photographer as well.  
  
Steeling himself, Peter knocks on the partially opened door. After a full minute (yes he checked with his phone clock), he cautiously let himself in spotting a brunette leaning against the table with her feet in the couch. The woman tilts her head backwards looking at him upside down then smiles. “Hey! I didn’t know I had more guests. Don’t just stand there, sit.”  
  
Peter nods taking a seat on the couch next to the brunette’s feet. “Ms. Van Dyne... with all due respect, _why_ are you sitting like that?”  
  
“It helps me think Mr...”  
  
“Parker. Uh, Peter. Peter Parker.” The brunette nods giving him a thumbs up. Janet Van Dyne was famous for her notorious temper. The last few talk shows she appeared on had her curse out her hosts. The woman was even more infamous for her ...quirks. But, despite working for a paper for the last seven years, Peter didn’t believe every rumor that reached his ears – in fact working for The Daily Bugle pretty much cemented that feeling. “So, Ms. Van Dyne—”  
  
“What’s with all the formalities kid, just Janet or Jan is fine.”  
  
“U-Uh, okay, Janet. Would it be okay if I were to interview you—“  
  
“Nope.”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“Didn’t you hear the lady screaming? I’m the biggest bitch on the planet!” Her arms flail at that, “check your phone I’m sure its already trending.” Peter tilts his head, “go on. Check.” Nodding, Peter checks his phone’s newsfeed and sure enough its already there. _Venomous Van Dyne strikes again._ _I didn’t want to believe the rumors but they’re true! The woman is as talented as she is vicious! I advise anyone who wants to do business with her to order her custom made outfits online. The less contact you make with that woman, the better!_  
  
Peter grimaces then pockets his phone not bothering to finish the lengthy article. That lady works fast; she might even still be in the building! However, Janet does not seem perturbed at all. “Ms— _Janet_ if you don’t mind my asking. What did that woman say to you?”  
  
“Don’t you mean what I said to her?”  
  
“No.” Janet tilts her head toward him. “One of the last things my uncle told me before he died was—”  
  
“Whoa!” Janet sat up, “I’m gonna stop you from getting sentimental. If you truly must know what happened I’ll tell you and you can tell your boss or who the fuck ever.” Peter nods dumbly. “Okay so—”  
  
_“Doesn’t it get tiring writing things down all the time? Its 2015.”_ _Janet raises an eyebrow but continues sketching. “No one writes anything anymore. My husband is one of the top salesmen in Hammer Corp’s electronic department. I’m sure I can get you a hammet for half price.”  
  
“A _ hammet _?”  
  
The woman nods, “a hammer tech tablet. They couldn’t very well call it ham-let so hammet worked out.” Frowning, Janet nods slowly going back to her sketching. “Oh Ms. Van Dyne you are so talented and so beautiful. Its a pity you can’t land yourself a husband.”  
  
Blue eyes glance up from the sketchpad, “pardon?”  
  
“You know...” The woman gestures around the room, “doesn’t it get lonely here? I mean all your money and pretty dresses can’t keep you warm like a husband can.” She looks Janet up and down, “or girlfriend.” Despite splurging on fancy ass imported pencils the damn thing still snaps in half when she balls up her fist. She was so getting her money back. They were guaranteed not to break! “Not that there is anything wrong with an exploratory phase. A couple of my friends experienced sexual relations with women but found them not as pleasurable as the ones they had with their husbands.”  
  
“What the hell are you talking about?”  
  
“Do you need help finding a husband? My best friend is a matchmaker—”  
  
“Wait a minute. What gives you the fucking right to think I need help finding anyone?”  
  
“Well you are alone—”  
  
“Not for lack of not trying. I’m alone because I choose to be.”  
  
“But why on earth would you _ choose _to be alone?”  
  
“Why is that any of your goddamn business?” The little angel conscious on her shoulder, that sounds like late her father, is telling her to calm down and not lose another customer because of her temper but the little devil on her other shoulder, that suspiciously sounds a lot like Tony Stark, is telling her to tell this misogynistic, archaic asshat off and kick her out of the house. For once she was going to do a bit of both. Calm down and tell the lady off. That way everyone wins. Taking a deep breath, Janet put the sketchpad down. “Look, why don’t we just get off the subject? I’m sure your marriage isn’t as wonderful as you make it out to be but you don’t hear me forcing my ideals onto you.” Okay so maybe the little angel was fighting a losing battle. _ Again. _The damn thing needed to put up more of a fight.  
  
“No one’s marriage is perfect but I’d rather have an imperfect marriage than no marriage at all.”  
  
“So you’re so frightened by the thought of dying alone that you’d cling to the first man that offers you a ring?”  
  
“What!?”  
  
“You wanna be a bitch, I can be a bitch too. Oh... and I’m far better at this game than you.” The brunette stands. “I did not create my own company to be talked down to by assholes like you. You wanna spout your bullshit forties or I don’t know thirties logic in my face that’s fine but going so far as to question _ _**my** _ _lifestyle because its not all Stepford Wives is the biggest load of bullshit ever. Also, I’d hate to burst your outdated, heternormative bubble but I don’t believe in marriage.” The woman gasps theatrically. “Yeah, that’s right. And I don’t like sex either.”  
  
“Most women don’t like sex. We don’t need it as much as men do.”  
  
Janet tilts her head. “You sure about that? I know a couple of people both men and women that would wholeheartedly disagree with that statement. My best friend Pepper loves having sex. A lot. If it were an Olympic sport she’d take home the gold.”  
  
“Women that love sex are—”  
  
“I swear to God if you call her a slut or anything like tht I will not be held responsible for my actions.” The woman stiffens in her seat. “I mean what the hell is with you? Are you stuck in the dark ages or something? What’s next? You’re gonna tell me I couldn’t possibly start up this business on my own?” The woman actually looks a bit guilty at that. “Are you fucking kidding me right now!?” The calm Janet, remember the calm. “Do you have any idea how many successful businesswomen are out there today? Or has that escaped your attention? Too busy shopping with your husband’s dirty money, hanging out at the country club or whatever other booshie elitist type shit they have, flirting with men half your age that won’t give you the time of day.” The woman’s jaw drops, “yeah I can stereotype too.”  
  
“You cannot talk to me this way, I’m a customer.”  
  
“Wrong. I’m my own boss therefore I can talk to you however I see fit. You, however, shouldn’t get smart with or piss off the woman making this $800 dress for you. Of course...” She sighs heavily, “I don’t know how I’ll _ ever _sew without a big, strong man in my life.”  
  
“See that’s where you’re wrong. Sewing is not something men do.”  
  
“Of course its not Sweetie. Its not like they ever tear their clothes and fix them themselves, that’s what wives are for. No wait, one of the things. Aside from shopping, cooking or in your case ordering out, then having someone – preferably a woman not their wife – clean up after yourselves. Did I get that right?” The woman’s nostrils flare. “Oh! And for the record, this shit personally insults me because my mother was a successful businesswoman that didn’t take shit from anyone and had to support both me and my father when his inventions weren’t enough to pay the bills.”  
  
“Oh. That explains it.”  
  
Janet's eyes narrow. “Explains what dare I ask?”  
  
“Well, I was brought up a certain way: my grandfather provided for my grandmother, my father provided for my mother, my husband provides for me. I was also taught that the more successful a woman is in business the less successful mother she is at home.”  
  
“Are you insinuating my mom was a bad mother?”  
  
“I would never—”  
  
“Oh no, see you just did. Not even in a half-assed roundabout way either, you just straight up blatantly said my mom couldn’t possibly be a good mother because she worked. And based on that very same logic it means your father, grandfather or even your husband can’t possibly be good parents either.”  
  
The woman stands, “how dare you say something like that!?”  
  
“What? The truth? On that note how dare you say that shit to me then get pissed when I call you out on your shit?” The snarling woman approaches towering over the brunette. Sure, the woman had at least four inches on Janet’s 5’4” frame but Janet Van Dyne was an experienced martial artist. She could take her.  
  
“You just lost a customer Ms. Van Dyne.”  
  
“Aw damn. How will I survive?” She snaps her fingers. “Damn.” She shrugs. “Oh well. I’m expecting a blog about how much of a bitch Janet Van Dyne is. Hell, I’m looking forward to it. Or maybe it’ll trend on twitter!” Huffing, the woman storms off. _ “ _I’m guessing you don’t want a refund?!”_

Peter blinks as Janet now sits in the couch beside him. “Anymore questions?”  
  
“No but it sounds like the lady set you off which was my initial thought. I’ve seen a couple of your other interviews and you’re normally a very easy going person but when someone pisses you off you sort of...”  
  
“Snap? Yeah, there’s no in between with me I’m afraid.” She shrugs. “Can’t really say I give a shit.” The phone rings and Janet picks it up staring at Pepper’s face on the screen. “Could you excuse me for like a sec?” Peter nods then Janet presses the answer button. “Pepper, talk to me girl.”  
  
_“You’re all over the Internet again.”_ The redhead sounds exasperated but that’s to be expected. Janet pumps her fist in the air and Peter chuckles, _“honestly Jan, between you and Tony I don’t know which is worse with the media.”_ Janet vaguely hears Tony in the background yelling its her, definitely her. _“I’m just glad you didn’t hit the woman.”_  
  
“No Pep, words were the main blow this time around.”  
  
_“Oh, I— for the love of... Will you shut up Tony? No, you’re not my boss right now we’re not in Stark Industries.”_ Pepper sighs, _“I’m sorry. What were you—”  
  
“Hey Jan.” _ She hears Pepper’s indignant shout in the background. _“My parents invite you to their vowel renewal?”_  
  
“You know it.”  
  
Tony hums, _“you gonna make Pepper a dress?”_  
  
“She’s my best friend Tony of course I am. We won’t outshine the bride or anything if that's what you’re asking.”  
  
_“Do you have any plans right now?”_  
  
“Well I did just curse out my former client so no, I am in the middle of an interview though.”  
  
_“And you accepted a phone call? That’s just bad manners.”_  
  
“Shut up Tony. What do you want?”  
  
_“There’s a meeting or whatever in the Baxter Building, one of those science gatherings. I need you to come and make it less boring, more bearable... that sort of thing. You might even find yourself some new customers.”_  
  
“Sure, what the hell I’m in. Give me a few minutes to get ready.”  
  
_“You got it. See you soon.”_  
  
>>>>>>>>>>>  
  
People said Tony Stark was... spontaneous but that might not have been an exaggeration. In addition to the fancy chocolates he wanted, Tony was also in the mood for the greasiest, messiest, biggest burgers in all of creation so they stopped for those as well. All the while Tony was conducting the interview.  
  
“There’s no time to get the helicopter Tony.” Pepper says shaking her head.  
  
“You owe me a helicopter ride.” Pepper groans. Tony glances through the side mirror before honking the horn. “Fuck. Finally.” Betty watches a brunette come out of a rather impressive looking house locking the door behind her.  
  
“Impatient much?” She huffs as the gate closes behind her. Behind her is a waving brunet.  
  
“Get in losers, we’re going sciencing.” She laughs getting into the back seat door Rhodey has open with the brunet following suit. “Always the gentleman, aren’t you Rhodes?”  
  
“Ignore him, he’s just grumpy because the Burger Pit ran out of cheese.”  
  
“Its a fucking travesty.” Tony grumbles driving off. “A burger place running out of cheese? I should have bought the store then closed it down for their incompetence...” Pepper sighs patting Tony on the shoulder. “By the way, I wasn’t aware of you taking a babysitting gig.” He glances at Janet through the rearview mirror.  
  
“This is Peter, the guy interviewing me.”  
  
Rhodey groans, “you two are far too alike.”  
  
The six of them arrive in the Baxter Building about fifteen minutes later. “By the way.” Janet begins getting out of the car. “Who is this woman?”  
  
“She’s Betty Ross. The general’s daughter.” Janet gives an incredibly tight, forced smile in the brunette’s direction. “Yup.” Tony pats her on the back. “Alright kiddies, lets blow some minds!”  
  
When they enter the building the receptionist greets them directing them to the location of this apparent meeting or whatever. Once out of the elevator they’re greeted by Susan Storm-Richard’s who gives everyone hugs and kisses on the cheek. “Its good to see you Tony.”  
  
“You too. Ben told me you finally got back in touch with your brother?”  
  
Sue sighs, “more or less. I kid you not he was here for not even ten minutes and he destroyed private property, scared me half to death and made the kids cry.” Sue nods to herself. “Good ol’ Johnny. It was good to see him again.” Sue leans against the wall waving her greeting at more people that came out of the elevator. “He’s taken a page out of _‘Uncle Tony’s’_ book too.” Tony rose an eyebrow. “He has a boyfriend.”  
  
“Oh yeah?”  
  
Sue nods with a blank expression. “He’s always been...”  
  
“Maria calls it indecisive.”  
  
Sue snorts. “I was going to say... unique. Fearless even. He never looked at sex when it came to attractiveness or even likability. I think I realized he was pansexual before I knew a definition actually existed. When he was thirteen he was friends with this really effeminate boy. I hadn’t realized at the time that the ‘boy’ in question was a transgender girl – or I’m not sure how to label it but either way it made me feel really awful. My thirteen year old brother was okay with it but that kid weirded me out for some reason.” Sue sighs. “Then I have the nerve to act surprised when we grow apart.”  
  
“Not everyone handles everything the same Sue.”  
  
“I wish that even was remotely relevant to this discussion.”  
  
“You’re not okay with him having a boyfriend?” Sue grimaces. “You’re—”  
  
“I’m not a homophobic or biphobic or anything like that. Assuming the second thing is a real thing.” She exhales deeply through her nose. “I have lots of friends that are not heterosexual. I mean there’s you, Pepper, Jan, _Ben_ ; I’m not sure what the hell Rhodey is but I feel like I’m the only heterosexual person I know. Shit, even _Reed_ is bisexual.” Tony whistles. “I know, right? Am I too uptight? Is that it?”  
  
“Sue relax. We don’t care about your sexuality. And you know my parents and they’re hardcore heteros.” Sue scowls at the floor. “Right. Not good company. I get it.” He pats her on the shoulder. “Go mingle. And just know I’m only here to pick up a date.”  
  
“You’re insatiable Tony Stark.”  
  
“I know.” He blows her a kiss before walking off. As he’s walking he spots Pepper in dire need of rescuing, from a suit whose probably poor attempting to mask his interest in her judging by the way his head keeps tilting downward to certain parts of her anatomy, so he does just that. After all, she’d do the same for him and has on several occasions. Pepper sighs in relief as the man who was chatting her up walks off in a huff.  
  
They clink their glasses together. “My knight in a three piece suit.”  
  
Oh. Tony pauses mid sip, “should we really be drinking when we woke up hungover?” Pepper eyes her glass before shrugging then they empty their glasses in one swig. “Now that that’s taken care of Sue’s having a bit of a freak out.”  
  
“Already? Why?” Pepper narrows her eyes. “What did you do?”  
  
“Honestly? Nothing. It was all her. She was talking about her brother then she started talking about how she’s the last hetero on the planet.”  
  
“Oh... well...” Pepper tilts her head, “not sure if I can help with that.”  
  
“Wasn’t asking you to.”  
  
“Alright then. Well I’m going to converse and whatnot. You should do the same. We’re getting a lot of pitches for Stark Industries so this thing won’t be a complete waste, right?” Tony salutes with his glass as Pepper disappears behind the crowd. Janet, Rhodey, Betty and even that Peter kid are all occupied so he wanders to the balcony spotting another person leaning against the railing.  
  
While the person, based on posture alone, doesn’t look like they’re two seconds away from throwing themselves off the balcony they doesn’t exactly look thrilled to be here and why would they? Tony hasn’t seen anyone around that looked interested in being here. Including Sue and she _lives here_. “The party is inside you know.”  
  
The person stiffens then turns around and Tony blinks dumbly. Hot guys did not just _appear_ in science get togethers – excluding him but he was always above the norm. Then again, this was the first thing in years Tony attended so the rules may have changed. The hot brunet takes off his glasses cleaning them with the edge of his shirt before setting them back on his face giving a small laugh. “Not really much of a party guy.”  
  
Dear Lord he even _sounds_ hot. Tony nods because he has numerous ice breakers embedded in his core – but none of them didn’t involve him being an absolute dick. Because of this, he usually let the other person break the ice because there was a 78% chance of the first thing out his mouth not being insulting afterwards. He actually practiced this with both Rhodey and Pepper a few times just to be sure.  
  
Though the first thing he said to the guy would qualify as an ice breaker, wouldn’t it? Damn. He was getting better. Go him!  
  
“What about you?” The hot guy asks going back to leaning.  
  
Tony looks over his shoulder making sure no one is around before walking over to the railing leaning as well. “Sometimes.” He shrugs, “you a friend of Reed?”  
  
“Friend is a bit of a strong word. More like past acquaintance.” Tony nods. It wasn’t as if Reed was a bad person he was just... insufferable. Which sounded a lot worse than it really was. “I’m Robert by the way.”  
  
“Tony.” They shake hands.  
  
“Tony!” Suppressing the urge to groan, cry and desperately throw a tantrum he turns around spotting Pepper in the doorway panting. The redhead sighs in relief walking over to them. “I thought you left. I was going to be pissed. Oh!” She brightens up and Pepper knows Tony too damn well to need words to come up with a completely accurate scenario for what is going on in front of her. “Hi. I’m Pepper well that’s not my birth name but...” She interrupts herself shaking hands with Robert. “Was I interrupting?”  
  
“Oh no. We were just talking.” Pepper quickly shoots a glare at Tony who glares back. “I’m Robert.”  
  
“Right.” Pepper nods slowly. “So, I need to borrow Tony for a second.” Robert nods then Pepper grabs him by the arm. “Nice meeting you!” Then they disappear inside.  
  
“Pepper...”  
  
“Tony he’s adorable!” She coos. “Ask him to the wedding.”  
  
“Are you nuts?! I can’t ask someone I just met to... actually that was what I was planning on doing in the first place wasn’t it?” Pepper nods staring at him in a mixture of worry, amusement and something else he couldn’t put a finger on. Great, now he knows how she feels about coming up with the whole random wedding date thing in the first place. Dammit! Why was she always right?!  
  
Still, he couldn’t suppress the thought of his mind screaming _variable_ when he first laid eyes on Robert’s lab coat covered ass then the screaming intensified when he saw the guy’s face. It tripled astronomically when he heard the guy speak. The variable in question wasn’t supposed to change the equation of Tony’s life so if he wanted to see more of Robert in the future (and who wouldn’t? The guy was as hot as a batch of freshly baked cookies straight from the oven. Shit. Now he’s hungry _and_ horny.) having him as a wedding date may not be the best way to go. He had to stick to some random schmuck that would at the very least make good arm candy. Still, his traitorous mind was now supplying random mouthwatering images of Robert in a suit then Robert being stripped out of the very same suit.

It probably wasn’t proper decorum to get an erection here but Tony did far more inappropriate things in less appropriate locations. Though this wasn’t the time to think about that. Pepper’s staring at him intently and he either rambled out loud again or she was talking to him for the past few minutes and he was unintentionally ignoring her.  
  
“Do we have to leave? Did Jan throw another punch?”  
  
“No and no – surprisingly.” Tony sighs, “was that a sigh of relief?” Pepper teased. “Didn’t think you’d actually be happy to be here.”  
  
“Well, I didn’t think I’d find a hot scientist here either so I guess we were both wrong.”  
  
“Well you’d better go ask your hot scientist out before another single scientist scopes him out.” Pepper pushes him in the direction of the balcony.  
  
“But what about—”  
  
“Don’t worry, I’ll tell you about it later.” He starts walking casting one look over his shoulder spotting Pepper shooing him. Shaking his head, he gives her a thumbs up.  
  
>>>>>>>>>>  
  
“Is this a thumb cake on the counter?” Brock dropped the box of frosting next to the cooling rack and was determined not to look at the rack currently in his immediate line of sight. Damn self-control! It was a splendid rack too. Taking the seat on his stool he nods at Peggy who raises an eyebrow.  
  
“You’re actually the first person to guess right on the first try. Sam said it looked like a baseball bat, Peter said – as expected – a penis and James said whatever it is he’s not touching it.” Peggy hums.  
  
“Who is decorating the penis cake?” Peter says leaning on the counter grinning.  
  
“You desperately need to get laid if you keep seeing penises everywhere Quill.”  
  
The blond shrugs, “maybe. So, the cake, who gets the job?”  
  
“Stevie gets the cake, its why Pierce hired him remember? Fancy décor and all that?”  
  
“There is nothing fancy about thumbs.”  
  
_“Have some candy!”_ King Candy’s voice was heard overhead causing Peter, Peggy and Brock to glance at the doorway where a blond was looking up frowning.  
  
“It made a different noise last time I came here.”  
  
“Yeah it does that. Flash your boyfriend is here!” Peter calls over his shoulder. “Pierce has the sound effect thing on random.” He says with a shrug. “No one really knows what its going to say or do. Hence, you know, the random bit. Anyways, how’ve you been man?”  
  
“Great.” The blond rubs the back of his neck. “Well not great but good.” The strawberry-blond comes out of the back room. “Baby!” The blond practically launches himself at Flash kissing him ignoring the cooing from the co-workers.  
  
“I’m usually against PDA but they’re so damn cute.” Peter says pretending to wipe a tear from his eye. “So cute...”  
  
The blond wraps an arm around Flash’s waist mindful of his boyfriend’s crutch. “I need a drink. Rumlow I know you got something.”  
  
“Well we’re not actually opened for another five minutes—” Brock shrugs, “so I guess its alright.” He goes behind the counter pulling out a nondescript bottle handing it to the blond who thanks him.  
  
“Wait a minute, you just said you were ‘good’ why need a drink?”  
  
The blond groans taking a swig before replying. “My aunt tricked me into seeing my sister whom I was estranged from for the past eight years. Considering the fact that said sister has one hell of a hair-trigger temper and I walked away unscathed I’d say it was ‘good.’” Peter, Flash and Brock nod at that then the blond takes another swig. “The needing a drink bit is because my aunt promised her for me that I’d come over for breakfast tomorrow. Oh and that I’d bring you.”  
  
The blond sighs as Flash moves out of his embrace. “Seriously Johnny?”  
  
“You wanna yell at someone yell at my aunt; but you won’t because she loves you so much.”  
  
“That reminds me, Lovebug, Pierce wants all of us on our best behavior and since you never pay for anything you aren’t a customer which means you need to be on your best behavior.”  
  
“What the fuck for?”  
  
“Well Mr. Storm that is an interesting question...” Pierce says coming from the back room, “and I’m willing to overlook that whole _he doesn’t pay for anything_ remark.” Johnny glares at Brock who shrugs. “To enforce something I forgot to mention earlier. Until the important customer arrives there will be no profanity from any employees or employee’s significant others.”  
  
“ _Significant other_? Is that my identifier now?”  
  
“Hold the fuck up...” Brock leans against the counter, “you want us to not swear? This is a fucking joke, right?”  
  
“I’m with Rumlow on this one.” Peter agrees, “I mean he just dropped the f-bomb twice in the previous sentence there’s no way he’ll last. And Peggy is no better.” The group turn to Peggy who appropriates her expression to one of scandalized shock.  
  
“None of you should point fingers, you’d think we were at sea but you guys—” At Peggy’s raised eyebrow he amends then adds, “ _and girls_ would make sailors blush with all your swearing.”  
  
“Its bad enough you called out our character flaws boss now we have to dial back on the swear words? What’s next matching uniforms?” Flash asks, “most of us don’t swear too much and you gotta admit some customers do deserved to be cursed out.”  
  
“And the fucking solicitors.” Brock mutters.  
  
“You do not need to shout expletives to form conversations.”  
  
“Uh, we’re in New York? People look at you funny if you _don’t_ swear.” Brock snorts.  
  
“That is a vicious stereotype asshole!” Johnny grimaced, “fuck.. I mean shit, _no_ damn. Aw crap! Yeah, I’m just not gonna talk.”  
  
“That leads me to my next rule. No more yelling.”  
  
There’s at least a three second pause before: “ _What!?_ ”  
  
“That alone should be reason enough. We need order—”  
  
“This is only temporary, right?” Peter asks. “Until this customer comes in? What if they’re freaked out about how unnatural we’re acting?” The others nod in agreement.  
  
“Then you just have to sell it and who knows perhaps it might bring in more business.” Pierce nods to all of them before going back in the back room.  
  
“That fucker’s off his rocker.” Peter says shaking his head.  
  
“I agree.” Flash says, “but he is our boss so we have to follow his order. I mean, this is the first time he’s actually ever given us one – _two_. So, which one of you guys wants to tell Steve about the no swearing rule?” The guys look around before staring at Peggy.  
  
“Me? Why me?”  
  
“Its you because you’re the only one he won’t curse out; dude’s weirdly chivalrous.” Brock folds his arms over his chest, “its kinda cute. _Oh_ we gotta tell James too and that won’t go over well.”  
  
The others grimace looking among each other. “Lets agree to have Jane do it?” Flash says nodding.  
  
That’s only if she gets here soon.”  
  
The sound of fireworks exploding overhead has everyone glancing to the front door spotting Jane in her scrubs with Dum-Dum Dugan and an attractive albeit irate redhead. “Jane! Dum-Dum!” They greet. Jane waves slowly looking around confused. That group greeting thing threw her each and every time.  
  
“We were just talking about you. Pierce is enforcing some rules and—”  
  
“I’m sure that’s great.” The redhead interrupts stepping in front of Jane. “I’m looking for... wait, who am I looking for?” Jane whispers in her ear then she nods. “Right. I’m looking for Peggy and Flash.” The aforementioned people exchange glances. “Two days ago I came here for the group photo and I neglected to get an actual _group_ photo so I’m back.”  
  
“Group photo?” Peggy asks.  
  
“It was all Quill’s idea. No one actually noticed all eight employees weren’t present, they were probably too busy flirting with Sam. Lucky bastard.”  
  
Peter nods, “its true. I saw this lady’s eyes nearly pop out of her skull when she laid eyes on him.”  
  
“That wasn’t as bad as the guy who removed his wedding band.” Brock adds.  
  
“Wait, what is this about rules from Pierce?”  
  
“I’ll tell you all about them.” Peggy says. Jane shrugs with a nod walking over to Peggy then the two of them head to the back.  
  
Flash claps his hands together. “As soon as the gang gets back together we’ll give you your group shot Ms....”  
  
“Jones. Jessica Jones.”  
  
Jane returns to the front with Peggy loosening her hair out of its ponytail. “What happened to my clothes?!” She gestures to her outfit, “these pants used to be _orange_.” The employees didn’t have uniforms – per se – though all their aprons had the store’s name on it, they just had tow wear bright ass clothes and non slippery shoes.  
  
“Not gonna lie.” Johnny begins, “I’m digging the tie-dye.” Jane sighs glancing at the hair flowing over her shoulders with Peggy running her fingers through it.  
  
“Why are you always playing with her hair?”  
  
“Why are you always minding my business?”  
  
“I’m not, you have your own hair to play with. Also, I don’t think its fair you get free rein to touch Jane whenever you’d like and the rest of us don’t. I tapped her on the shoulder and Barnes swooped down Batman style scaring the shit out of me.”  
  
Peter tilted his head. “That’s a bit of an exaggeration don’t you think?”  
  
“You think? Alright. Fine.” Brock walks over to Jane who looks up at him. He turns full circle at the group before turning back to the brunette tapping her on the shoulder. The others look around then back at Brock. “ _Really_? This is how ...this is really happening right now?”  
  
The sound of footsteps have everyone stiffen until they see its Sam they sigh in relief. “What the hell is going on?”  
  
“We, evidently, are waiting for James to pop up from the shadows because Brock touched Jane. Says it happened when he tapped her on the shoulder one time.”  
  
“It did, think it was a coincidence though?” Sam shrugs. “ _possibly_. You honestly never know with that guy.”  
  
“Hey, did Pierce tell you we’re officially on no swearing duty? And no yelling either?” Peter asks.  
  
Sam whistles, “you serious? Shit... I mean _wow_ , he’s pulling out all the stops for this special customer isn’t he?”  
  
“All I know is this shit better be worth it.” Brock grumbles. “Where the hell is James by the way?”  
  
“With Steve, you know his weakness for fair-haired tiny people.” They all look at Jane.  
  
“Hey!”


	3. Debatable Muse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This wedding thing might be driving everyone up the wall but nevertheless numbers are exchanged and dates are planned. Sort of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: In this story Bruce Banner goes by his given name which is Robert – all the Bruce’s in the previous chapter have been changed to Robert.

_“—Did you ask your boss yet?”_  
  
“No, my boss is acting screwier than usual so I didn’t the opportunity to. Why are you asking me again? You didn’t seem so worried about this earlier.”  
  
_“Yeah well that was before my boss got a call from them asking for everyone’s food preference.”_ There is some shuffling in the background. _“I’ll text you the menus because you are honestly going to want to see them for yourself. Seriously, rich people have nothing better to do than serve this kind of shit to other rich people.”_ There is a loud sigh on the other side, “ _I’m sure Murdock is glaring at me right now, his lips are doing that thing again. I don’t even think he realizes he does it._ ”  
  
“He’s probably glaring at you because you’re on the phone before a meeting Nat.”  
  
_“Don’t be a smartass Rogers.”_  
  
As soon as he sees a silhouette in the doorway he nearly dropped his phone in his haste to end the call. “Look, I’ll call you later.” Then he hung up cutting off Natasha’s protest. Yeah, he’d be dealing with that later but that didn’t matter at the moment. James had come back into the room cradling a box underneath his right arm. The brunet rose an eyebrow at him before setting the box down on the table.  
  
“You look like you’re up to no good.”  
  
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I don’t look any different than usual.”  
  
The brunet grins, “exactly.”  
  
“Are you insinuating that I always look like I’m up to no good?” The brunet – still grinning – shrugs, “that’s a bold face lie right there Barnes.”  
  
“Whatever you say Rogers.” Steve scoffs then walks over to the brunet peering into the box. “Don’t touch.” He actually slaps Steve’s hand away from the box.  
  
“Fuck, what did you do that for?” The blond glares rubbing his reddening hand. Shit that stung!  
  
“I said don’t touch.”  
  
“You said that as you hit me!”  
  
“Don’t be a baby Steven.” He took a piping bag out of the box, “no one told you how to use this thing properly right?”  
  
Steve snorted, “I wasn’t aware there was a _proper technique_ in holding a damn piping bag. No, no one taught me how to use it; I learned from cooking shows. Why?”  
  
“No reason. You’re just lucky Pierce doesn’t have you decorating in front of people yet.” Steve scoffs as James takes a deep breath. “Anyway, stand back Half Pint so I can work.” Steve glares at him. _Half Pint_ ?The brunet wasn’t that much taller than he was.  
  
As he was watching the brunet, Steve _might_ have been standing closer than what would be deemed as ‘appropriate’ but the brunet didn’t comment. And if Steve actually knew the ‘proper way’ to hold/use a piping bag and fucked up purposely so he could get James to ‘teach him’ by doing it himself...well it was no one’s damn business but his. Pierce hired him for his ‘artistic eye’ or some shit like that not because of his techniques with baking equipment. Plus, Steve had really unsteady hands so he’s actually surprised he’s as good as he currently is.  
  
Besides using it ‘properly’ wasn’t comfortable and no one argued with the end result even if he held the bag a little weird.  
  
Although _if_ he did need to ‘work’ in front of people – because Steve had seen Peggy, Sam, James and Peter gracefully decorate things in front of customers – he might have to look like he knew what he was doing. Then again, they already have four people doing it out of eight ...one more would make things uneven.  
  
Peggy stuck her head into the door with an unreadable expression but about ninety-seven percent of Peggy Carter’s expressions were indecipherable. And if Peggy wanted you to be able to read her expressions she’d make clearer ones – but that was a rarity in itself. “Pierce says we can’t swear.” Steve still didn’t know if her Brooklyn accent or English one was her real accent; his first day working her she kept switching it up so much they sort of blended into one at one point. Since then she seemed to be using both at random. Right now is the Brooklyn accent which, for someone _born_ in Brooklyn – like Steve, really doesn’t sound much like an ‘accent.’ According to Peter Jason Quill, a _semi-reliable_ source, she wasn’t from Brooklyn _or_ England but he never stated where she was actually from. The others were actually taking bets about it. Steve wanted to get in on the bet himself but he was more tempted to be on the outside when Peggy finds out (assuming she didn’t already know) and kicks their asses.  
  
James looks up from the piping bag, “what?”  
  
“Pierce says we can’t swear.” She repeats slower, English accent this time. “No yelling either. Also, Jane is here.” Then Jane sticks her head into the back room as well waving.  
  
James waved back with the piping bag in his hand, “why the hell can’t we swear? Are we being invaded by children again?” The last time that happened didn’t work out so well but Pierce hadn’t told anyone not to swear – he made the mistake of assuming they’d do it on their own and for the most part they did until a kid ran into Flash disorienting him and causing one of his prosthetic legs to break as he fell over. Once the kid cursed out Flash for being in his way all hell broke loose. Why a group of children took a field trip to a bakery in Brooklyn at seven at night was anyone’s guess.  
  
“Some important customer.” Jane replies with a shrug. “And that’s all he said about it. Or that’s really all I heard about it.”  
  
“Everyone!” Pierce calls out. The four of them exchange glances before walking out in the front. “Oh good, Ms. Foster is here you will man the front.” Jane salutes him. Pierce turns to Jessica, Dum-Dum and Johnny before turning back to his employees. “Make sure Dugan and Storm do not cause any trouble.” He gets eight collective nods and two indignant squawks. Birds start chirping and everyone glances at the door where two men are standing looking around. One of the men is in a crisp navy suit and his entire posture just screams authoritarian while the other, also in a suit – although slightly rumpled, has a more laid back posture. “Welcome!” Pierce greets, after a few seconds of silence the others follow suit with far less, blatantly forced enthusiasm. “I am Alexander Pierce.”  
  
“We’re aware of who you are Mr. Pierce.” Pierce’s smile slowly slips off his face. “My name is Phillip Coulson and I’m with the Standard Health Industries Evaluation and Learning Division.” Pierce quickly shakes his hand then the hand of the man beside him. “This is my junior partner Clinton Barton.”  
  
“Standard health in...”  
  
“It spells shield.” Peter mutters. Johnny nods slowly.  
  
“So, you guys are health inspectors?” Brock asks.  
  
“More or less. We provide insight to the higher ups see if everything is how it should be, things like that.” The group looked among themselves baffled. “I was told this establishment only had seven employees.”  
  
“A-As of two weeks ago it has eight.” Pierce replies, “these other people are ...guests.” Phil nods slowly and Clint jots something down on a notepad that both appears and disappears in the blink of an eye.  
  
“The evaluation shouldn’t take too long Mr. Pierce.”  
  
“E-Evaluation?”  
  
“The evaluation of your employees and _guests_ , we’ll interview them one at a time to free the up for any customers.” Clint hands Phil a clipboard that came out of nowhere and just how the hell were they doing that? The guy’s suit pants didn’t even have pockets! “Lets start with you Mr. Pierce.” Pierce suppresses the gulp then nods. “Is there a place where we can talk in private?”  
  
“O-Of course, follow me.” Phil nods to Clint then follows after Pierce.  
  
Steve blinks at the blond casually leaning against the wall. Now just why the hell does he look so familiar? _Oh wait!_ If he’s not mistaken this is Natasha’s Clint. The same Clint he met this morning. Natasha did tell him Clint had some kind of weird job he couldn’t get into details about but Natasha did ‘ _jokingly_ ’ tell Steve she was once (and still technically is) a spy for the KGB so he wasn’t sure what to believe from her.  
  
He was never more grateful for his stature than he was now, he easily slipped to the back of the group away from the blond’s line of sight. “What are you doing?” James asks raising an eyebrow at him.  
  
“Nothing?” Did he phrase that as a question? Dammit.  
  
The group moved to around the counter to at least give of an air of professionalism despite the fact that none of them are actually doing anything. But hey, that’s simply the norm for them.  
  
“They’re probably the goddamn mafia.” Brock whispers, “and each and every one of us is getting whacked.” They all slowly turn to Clint who produces sunglasses out of an unseen pocket (probably the same damn pocket he keeps getting clipboards and notepads from) and puts on said pair of sunglasses.  
  
“Fuck that...” Peter whispers, “they’re the Men In Black.” Clint shifts slightly and everyone pretends to look busy avoiding his direction.  
  
“I don’t care what he is there is only one of him without his partner and...” Flash does a headcount, “eleven of us. And even with his partner we have Pierce so it’ll be two against twelve, we can take them.”  
  
“Yeah.” Brock snorts, “before their reinforcements arrive.”  
  
Peter grimaces. “Then we take them and get the fuck out of here.”  
  
“Okay.” Phil and Pierce return, “we’re going to do this alphabetically if that’s alright with everyone. Up first is... Barnes, James.” Nodding, James takes a step forward. The others offer him reassuring pats on the back as he follows Phil and Clint pushes himself off the wall then follows after them.  
  
“Dead man walking...” Brock mutters until Peggy elbows him harshly. “We were all thinking it!” Everyone slowly turns to Pierce who waves them off walking into a different room. “See?”  
  
“Yeah, I don’t know what they did but I’m not too sure I want to find out based on Pierce’s expression.” Johnny says with a grimace.  
  
“Wait a minute, _alphabetically_? Lets see... if its just the employees: Barnes, Carter, Foster, Quill, Rogers, Rumlow, Thompson and Wilson.” Peter gulps, “at least I can get it over with quick and still have some people afterwards. Its not very reassuring though...” He glances at Peggy who narrows her eyes at him. “Sorry Pegs.”  
  
When brunet walks in the door Clint takes off his sunglasses tapping Phil on the shoulder. “Hey Phil?” Phil raises an eyebrow, “ _sorry_. I mean senior partner Coulson.” Phil nods, “do you think I can maybe conduct the evaluation on my own?” Phil looks him up and down.  
  
“I suppose...” He looks Clint up and down again, “I’ll be outside the door if you need anything.”  
  
Clint salutes then walks into the room where James is seated ramrod straight, “take a breather dude I’m not gonna hurt you.” Grinning, Clint takes the seat in front of the brunet. “So... that blond. That’s Steve, right?” James nods slowly. “Thought so. I didn’t think Nat’s boyfriend would work at a bakery though. Particularly this bakery.”  
  
“ _Nat_?” James tilts his head, “ _boyfriend_!?” Son of a bitch! He’d been flirting with Steve since the blond got hired! Why the fuck didn’t he ever mention he was taken!!? They’d all seen the pansexual wristband on the blond’s hand the first day he stepped into the shop and shook all their hands. Though Brock called ‘dibs’ Steve had started flirting with James first. In fact they all sort of flirted with him and he easily albeit awkwardly reciprocated. Oh shit... Maybe Steve just had a flirty personality? Or he flirted because everyone else did. Flirting did not equate to cheating as long as it stuck to strictly flirting.  
  
That probably meant no more hands-on demonstrations (emphasis on _hands-on_ ). If he let his hand linger on Steve’s a bit longer than necessary there wasn’t anything technically wrong with that and no one commented on it either.  
  
Clint tilts his head, “damn dude, don’t look too down I didn’t know it until earlier today. I take it you’re into Steve?” James eyes narrow. “Relax. He’s cute, I’ll give you that, but I actually like his girlfriend Natasha.” The blond pulls his phone out of his pocket, fiddles with it, then places it on the table. “Its the redhead.” James leans forward looking at the picture with Jane, a redhead and a tall blonde – no wait two tall blondes. Yeah, he was going to have a conversation with Dr. Foster when this was all over.  
  
James leans back, “why are you telling me this?”  
  
“I have keen observational skills. I noticed you checking out Steve subtly so don’t have to worry about that. Anyway, I came up with the alternative from pining up close.”  
  
“And that would be?”  
  
Clint gestures between them, “the two of us go out. It beats the hell out of wallowing about our taken crushes. _Plus_ , you get to have me as boyfriend.”  
  
“And then what, when our respective crushes break up we just go for them?”  
  
“Nah, never been much of a rebound guy.”  
  
“Alright.” James leans further back in his chair, “lets just hang out and see where it goes from there?” Clint grins extending his right hand which James leans forward to shake before resuming his previous position. “If you’re okay with hanging out with a guy with one arm that is.”  
  
“You’re only gonna need one hand anyway.” Clint shrugs smirking, “besides I’m deaf so I got no right discriminating about loss.” He taps his ear and James winces at the metallic sound.  
  
“Didn’t that hurt?”  
  
“Yes, yes it did.”  
  
James rolls his eyes smiling, “just to be sure... to clarify I mean, this has nothing to do with my job right?”  
  
“Hm?” Clint sucks in a breath, “you know I forgot I was here for work purposes, sad to say that’s my only means of meeting hot people nowadays.” James laughs, “but we’ll get to the boring shit in a sec.”  
  
“Okay. If we’re going to do this friend – obviously friend with benefits thing I’m going to need your phone number.” Clint’s eyes dart to the phone. “I didn’t want to just touch it. You know how some people are strangely possessive with their phones?”  
  
“Yeah. My friend Jessica does that... but that’s mostly because she either probably has half-naked pictures of her not-girlfriend on it or she sexts shit that’s downright filthy.” James whistles. “Yeah, not that I mind the filth thing but either way I don’t want to touch her damn phone anyhow. Speaking of phones, you have my number but I don’t have yours.”  
  
Clint’s phone starts buzzing on the table. “Now you do.”  
  
Grinning, Clint leans over and picks up his phone. “Thank you very much Mr. Barnes, permission to give you a cutesy nickname on my phone?”  
  
“Only if you’ll grant me the same liberty Mr. Barton.”  
  
“Granted. Now lets get to the work stuff before Phil comes in and bashes our heads together.”  
  
>>>>>>>>>>>>  
  
“Come on, we can put our heads together and think of something fun to do! You’re a free man now and I’m sure you want to do more than just eat cheese fries at the mall.” Billy looked up from the fries in question at his twin.  
  
“I don’t mind doing this.” Tommy huffs, “I just don’t want to go home yet. Not sure where I want to go but I know I don’t want to go home yet.”  
  
“I reiterate, you are a free man William, you can do whatever you want.”  
  
“Well _Thomas_ I’m not sure what I want to do.”  
  
“Didn’t you think of all the things you wanted to do once you sprang free from the clink?”  
  
“You know I wasn’t in prison, right?” Tommy shrugs muttering something inaudible, “sure I thought about all the things I wanted to do but now that I’m out I really don’t give a shit what I do as long as it doesn’t bring me back there.”  
  
“Fair enough. Oh! I got it! How about we go scope out some hot guys for you?” Tommy waggles his eyebrows, “I’ll totally be your wingman.”  
  
Billy grimaces, “last time you decided to play my wingman you ended up with more guys than me.”  
  
“ _True..._ and that’s solely because I’m hella charming.” He waggles his eyebrows again. Well, Billy’s not even sure if his twin ever _stopped_ waggling his eyebrows. “Seriously though, being in that place definitely made you pent up right? What you need is a good, quick fuck.” Tommy nods to himself, “I still have our fake I.D.’s.” Billy taps his chin. As tempting as the thought was he didn’t want to risk going to prison after getting out of a mental institute. “You still have your Grindr account, right?”  
  
“Yes? Among others...”  
  
As Tommy made grabby hands in his direction, Billy relinquished his cellphone his brother was thoughtful enough to bring when he sprang him from the hospital. “Ooh!” Billy scooted over so he could see what his brother was looking at. He was just scrolling the page not looking at any person in particular. “We’re identical twins so we’re about ninety-seven percent likely to have the same type, right?”  
  
Billy tilts his head, “I don’t think it works that way. Besides, I’m not interested in women – at all, yet you are.”  
  
“Why do you think I said ninety-seven percent instead of one hundred?” Billy snorts, “anyway I messaged this guy for you.”  
  
“ _You did_ _**what**_ _?!_ ” Billy stared at his phone in horror. There is a bespectacled damn near disgustingly attractive muscular blond with one hell of a tight shirt on. “Jesus, fuck, are you trying to kill me T? There is no way in hell—” As his phone pinged Billy’s jaw dropped.  
  
“You’re welcome.” Billy continued to stare at his phone. “Billy? William? _Bro_?” Tommy threw up his hands with a groan. “Great, I broke him.”  
  
It took about five full minutes of staring at the phone for Billy to snap out of his stupor. After thirty seconds of staring the phone screen went blank so he spent four minutes and thirty seconds just staring at the blank screen of his phone in a daze. In that time he wondered how the hell someone as hot as that this _Theodore_ fella – assuming that was his real name – would be interested in him? Now, Billy didn’t consider himself (or by extension is identical twin alike in damn near every physical trait excluding their hair which, quite frankly, had no actual explanation but when did genetics ever have a plausible one?) unattractive but he knew that this supremely hot guy was so far out of Billy’s league they weren’t even playing the same or even a similar sport!  
  
He slowly rose his head staring at his brother. “What do I do?”  
  
“You _could_ message him back but of course that might be too complex for you.” Billy’s eyes darted to the phone then back to his brother before sighing giving his brother the phone. The last time he messaged a guy on one of these ‘hookup’ websites he got himself a one-way ticket to the juvie so he wasn’t exactly jumping at the opportunity to bed some potential psychopath. At the same time Theodore was ridiculously cute; in a beefy, bodybuilder sort of way. And though he _is_ a virgin – in the simplest definition (i.e. no penetration on either end) he could definitely see himself being fucked out by that guy... or fucking him. He wasn’t picky. “What do you want me to say?” Billy shrugs with a grimace, “you _did_ read the message right?”  
  
“Which message?”  
  
Tommy side eyes him in a way that makes him really nervous. “Oh dear God, what did you do?!” The twins hover over the blank screen. “I swear if you sent him a dick or—”  
  
“Would you relax? I’m on this website too man, you never put out with the first message. Its a rule.” Billy glared at him taking the offered phone reading over his brother’s message – no, the message his brother sent masquerading as him... again. They pulled that whole _pretending to be one another_ game at a professional level. Billy lost track of how many times he had to pretend to be his brother to let down a girl easy... or guy.  
  
The message Tommy sent merely said _hi_ but it had a damn winky face along with it. Even worse (?) was the blond’s response which also had a winky face.  
  
Billy handed the phone back to his brother, “so...?” The phone pinged again but a message from another guy that Tommy, thankfully, chose to ignore. Then the phone pinged _again_ with another message from the blond. The twins hover over the screen reading the message the blond wrote.  
  
Both of their eyebrows shot up at the message and Billy glanced at his brother to see he was blushing slightly. And it took _a lot_ to get Tommy to blush.  
  
Then the blond sent another message. To hell with full blown sex he was definitely sucking this guy’s dick, psychopath or no.  
  
“The guy’s a freak bro.” Tommy patted him on the shoulder, “You’d better name one of your kids after me.”  
  
“Just because he’s really cute and has a perverse sense of humor does not mean I’m going to _marry_ the guy.” Although it didn’t mean he _wasn’t_ either. Their mother would plotz to know they were even thinking of marriage at sixteen. Then again, she was pregnant and unmarried at sixteen and gave birth to them at seventeen so it would be hypocritical for her to comment.  
  
“Whatever. Just message him back before _he_ sends the dick pic.”  
  
“You say that like its a bad thing.” Billy leans back in his seat replying.  
  
“You never know bro, he could be disproportionate.” Billy pauses glancing up at his shrugging brother. “Hey, pass me the pepper?”  
  
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>  
  
“Pepper, they do look cute together.” Janet gushes taking a sip from her champagne. If it was one thing Janet Van Dyne did it was bring her own liquor to these sort of things. Reed and Sue Richards had/have (whichever) money but they had weird tastes in alcohol and appetizers. Or maybe Jan’s palate was as big a diva as the rest of her. Which generally would not surprise her... or anyone for that matter.  
  
“Its bittersweet, Tony might be getting a date to this shit before any of us do.” Rhodey sighs, “and I bet his new friend doesn’t have any friends that might want to just tag along without any obligation.” The others shake their heads slowly continuing to stare out the balcony.  
  
“I just hope this works and we don’t have to have another dating auction.” Pepper shudders.  
  
“You rich people are amazing, hilarious too.” Peter remarks taking a sip of his champagne. Second time ever drinking the stuff and first time not at a wedding. He needs to do interviews more often. JJ will never go for it though. Oh well, he better fill up on as many fancy hors d'oeuvres as he can before he resumes being poor in the morning.  
  
“Hey, Pep, just a question. Tony gets himself a date for this thing... wouldn’t that mean if you don’t there’s still the option for that dating auction thing?” Pepper blinks slowly turning to Janet.  
  
On the aforementioned balcony, Tony was glad Pepper shooed him away when she did because he saw Reed approaching someone in the distance and seemingly making his way over. Needless to say he hauled ass back outside where Robert was. He wasn’t about to talk to Richards sexless _and_ sober; it just wasn’t happening tonight or any other night. “You’re not planning on spending the entire night out here, are you? Not that its not a good view if you’re into that sort of thing.” _Reel it in Stark, you don’t want to scare the pretty face away before getting the date!_  
  
Robert shrugs with a half-smile that’s just the right amount of both sexy and cute, “my initial plan was to stick around for about ten minutes then fake some kind of injury... you kinda ruining that for me though but you’ve been good company so it isn’t too bad.” Had Tony not been a man damn near close to mowing his way through the door to forty he would have blushed at that statement. No one – not even Pepper or Rhodey, hell not even _Jarvis_ – ever claimed Tony to _ever_ be ‘good company.’ A great distraction? Sure. The lesser of two evils? Absolutely. But never _good company_. What was this man doing to him!?  
  
“Hey, so, random question. And you can totally decline if you want and I wouldn’t really blame you if you did—”  
  
“You’re babbling.”  
  
Tony sighed, “I’m aware. Okay, so I know we just met and you can think of this as a first date if you’re into that sort of thing.”  
  
“ _Dating_?”  
  
“I was implying men but that works too.” Robert adjusts the glasses on his face, “anyway... my parents and if I’m old as hell imagine how old they are—”  
  
“Babbling again.”  
  
“Right. Would you do me the honor of accompanying me to my parents wedding anniversary vowel renewal? And shit was that mouthful.”  
  
Robert, processing the information no doubt, goes back to leaning against the railing taking in the scenery. “First date, huh?” He looks over at Tony. “A wedding seems a bit heavy for a first date, don’t you think?”  
  
“Well...” Tony drawls leaning over the railing backwards, “its a wedding anniversary so its not as fancy as an actual wedding.” Robert nods with a hum, “plus its nine days away so it could be our second date.” He waggles his eyebrows. “Hell, if we include this it could be our third.”  
  
“This hardly counts as a first date.” Tony snorts, “and for all your planning I haven’t actually agreed.”  
  
Tony blinks before blurting out. “That’s right!” Here he is making plans for second and third dates when he hasn’t even gotten the first! Or even any confirmation of ever getting a first!  
  
Robert laughs, “hey, don’t freak out relax.” At Tony’s glare he chuckles, “its nine days away?” Tony nods, “I think I should still be in town so why the hell not? I’ll go with you.”  
  
Resisting the strong urge to pump his fist in the air, Tony extends his hand which Robert shakes. “Thank you very much. We should exchange contact information and things of the like, then find the most appropriate gush worthy nicknames for one another.”  
  
“I’m sorry, the what?”  
  
“Its okay, we’ll work on that. Oh, fair warning though? My entire family is filled with the most invasive, overly paranoid, heteronomative, potentially homophobic, pretentious bitchy jackasses in New York – no, possibly the entire world.” Robert whistles, “now having said that – and I should have asked this first. You are okay with posing as my boyfriend for this, right?” Robert shrugs. “So, I need to convince them that I haven’t paid for your company.”  
  
“Pay—? So I’m getting paid for this?”  
  
“Uh... honestly hadn’t thought of that, not that it would be a problem if that’s what you want?”  
  
Hmm... telling the attractive and obviously rich man you could use the money isn’t exactly the best direction to go in this scenario; _at the same time_ , doing this for free is downright stupid. Damn Caltech for breaking his moral compass! “Getting paid to be around you kind of makes me an escort, doesn’t it?” Tony’s eyes kind of gloss over at that and Robert isn’t sure if he should be alarmed or not. Eventually, the man shakes out of his stupor.  
  
“You know, we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.” Tony says quickly, patting him on the back. “While I’m fairly certain the majority of my joint family won’t really give a shit about your presence its my noisy-ass parents, particularly my father, you need to be weary of.”  
  
Robert pinches the bridge of his nose smiling slightly. “Is it too late to decline the offer?”  
  
Meanwhile, outside the balcony Pepper, Jan, Peter and Rhodey are leaning against the door in an attempt to hear what’s being said without looking even more suspicions than they already are. The four of them are leaning over one another by height Janet, Peter, Pepper then Rhodey respectively and with the heels Pepper is only slightly shorter than Rhodey’s 6’1” height.  
  
“ _What_ are you guys doing?” Slowly, the four of them turn to Sue titling her head in confusion holding her daughter in her arms.  
  
“Nothing.” They reply attempting to look nonchalant and failing miserably.  
  
“Right.” Sue knew better than to ask questions so she walked off with Valeria. “Well whenever you’re finished doing _nothing_ let me know.” She calls out.  
  
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>  
  
In Hell’s Kitchen sat the office of Nelson & Murdock. The employees of Nelson & Murdock were a tight knit group of lawyers (or almost lawyers) working for Franklin “Foggy” Nelson and Matthew Murdock. Foggy might have gotten top billing but Matt Murdock was this amazing _blind_ lawyer. And his disability was always cause for conversation – because of this they took other lawyers (or almost lawyers) with disabilities in the firm where others wouldn’t. Or claimed to want yet just stuck them to a desk. Matty was a shining beacon of hope for damn near everyone but Nelson  & Murdock wasn’t exactly well known yet so they couldn’t take on a lot of employees. Which was a good thing because it meant more money for him and Matt.  
  
It wasn’t at all unusual for them to get calls all hours of the night. Legal troubles did not have a bed time after all. But when Natasha got to the office and saw everyone just... _there_ she nearly turned around and went home. “Not so fast Ms. Romanova.” She sighs walking over to the offered seat beside her other boss. She glanced at him pinching the bridge of his nose then started tapping on the table. “Why is she doing that?”  
  
“Morse code.” Foggy nods, “she wants to know why we’re here.”  
  
“So you’re _her_ interpreter now?” He sighs, “you remember our wonderful clients Mr. and Mrs. Stark do you not? Well they brought us some friends! Yay.” Everyone else groans. “Don’t groan, we’re getting paid!” They cheer. “That’s more like it! Apparently a...” He thanked Matt for the papers he handed him, “Norman Osborn requires legal assistance and with that being our jobs and all The Stark’s recommended us. If the name Norman Osborn strikes a chord of familiarity it should because he owns the company known as Oscorp. The Starks and Osborns are ‘family friends’” He air-quotes, “and business partners to some degree.”  
  
“What kind of _legal assistance_ does this guy need?” Natasha glanced at the brunette adjusting her glasses. She even raised her hand as she asked the question. Jennifer Walters was the number one intern... tied with Natasha. But there was no outward, brazen rivalry going on between them. No, they were too civil for that.  
  
Of course that didn’t mean there wasn’t a rivalry going on.  
  
There was a rivalry, an intense rivalry.  
  
Like something straight out of one of Clint's cartoons with the lightning striking in the background as soon as the rivals make eye contact.  
  
The law firm of Nelson  & Murdock had nine employees in total; five interns and four lawyers. Six of the nine employees were women, a fact Foggy relished.  
  
“Osborn didn’t want to pony up the deets over the telly so he’s coming here to give up the goods.” Foggy sighs, “so that means everyone—” He glances at Natasha, “needs to be on their best behavior because Osborn can potentially bankrupt us if we side eye him funny.”  
  
“Just a quick question Mr. Nelson.” Foggy raises an eyebrow, “why did you single me out?”  
  
“I didn’t single you out, I glared pretty pointedly at Matthew as well.”  
  
Natasha turns to Matt who nods, “its true. I actually _felt_ him glaring.” Natasha rolls her eyes. “Anyway, you do have a smartass mouth that rich people do not have a fondness for. Remember Tiberius Stone?” The redhead huffs. “Exactly.”  
  
“You guys have to admit Stone was an ass.” Elektra, another intern, supplied leaning back in her seat. “And he deserved to be decked, had Natalia not done it I would have.”  
  
“Yes, we were all itching to deck him but he was a client. No law firm should condone punching out clients.”  
  
“To be fair, no one decked him until _after_ we won the case.”  
  
“Yes, thank you Kirsten, we are all aware of that.” The brunette shrugs. Foggy sighs pinching the bridge of his nose. “Lets move on, shall we?”  
  
>>>>>>>>>>>>>  
  
“I can’t understand why Clint isn’t helping you move? Didn’t you two used to bump uglies?”  
  
Jessica sighs nearly dropping the couch on Kate’s foot. “Piss poor reason for him being here and he has work or something. Besides, we don’t need a guy to help us.”  
  
“Uh, have you seen Clint’s arms? That’s no guy, he’s a machine.”  
  
“Keep up with the archery Bishop and you’ll have arms just like Barton.” The shorter brunette shudders. “Besides, he’s too busy pining after some girl with a boyfriend.”  
  
“ _I know_! He told me all about that. Poor Clint.” Kate shakes her head, “he seems to have shit luck with relationships. I mean, if Morse weren’t bad enough...” She spares a glance at Jessica, “okay, present company excluded with the shitty relationship bit.”  
  
“No, unlike most of Clint’s shit relationships he and I are still friends. We just didn’t work out on the more than friends front.”  
  
“Because you’re a lesbian?”  
  
“If I’m still having sex with Clint I am not a lesbian. Bisexuality is a thing Bishop.”  
  
“ _Fine_. You’re bisexual but homoromantic, happy?” Jessica’s jaw drops. “That’s a thing Drew.”  
  
“ _I_ know its a thing, how do _you_ know that’s a thing? Kids nowadays don’t read.”  
  
“I don’t know how it was back in the day grandma but all I do is read.” Kate grins at the raised eyebrow. “It may not be school related but at least its still reading. And just because it doesn’t come from a book doesn’t mean it can’t be read.”  
  
“Surely you realize I am not even eight years older than you, right? We are the same generation. For all your smart-ass old people comments, you’ll be sitting in the same nursing home I am when we’re both in our sixties.”  
  
“That’s forty years away, at least for me.” Kate waggles her eyebrows.  
  
“You’ve been hanging around Clint too long, I’m tempted to drop this couch on your delicate size sixes.”  
  
“My feet are not delicate, they’re hard-working, ass kicking feet.” Kate nods to herself as the two of them put the couch down on the carpet. “Besides, you have freakishly small feet, don’t you still wear kids shoes?”  
  
“I do and I get great deals on my footwear.” She grins. “Now, we got more couches to bring in. I had to get so much furniture because I’ve taken up a lot of strays recently.”  
  
“I know there’s me and Barton and your not-girlfriend... and your not-girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend along with their daughter. Just how many other strays do you have?”  
  
“Katie, you have no idea.”  
  
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>  
  
No one has any idea how long its been since James went in there with the two of them. They dealt with a few customers but between those times Pierce has been pacing the floor.  
  
Jane blinks as James and the two health inspectors come back out. They’ve been gone for quite sometime and James is coming at her at full speed grabbing her by the arm steering her away from the others. “I hope that wasn’t Ms. Carter.” The man in the crisp suit deadpans.  
  
Once the two of them are in the back James releases his grip. “What is going on? What did they do to you?”  
  
“Why didn’t you tell me you knew Steve’s girlfriend?”  
  
“I didn’t— _wait,_ Steve has a girlfriend?” James exhales deeply holding out his phone to the brunette. He asked Clint for the picture after informing the blond that he knew Jane – seemed like a good excuse at the time plus Jane did look adorable in it. Jane squints looking at the phone then looks up at James. The brunet points at the redhead in the photo. “Natalia? She— _I_... I just spoke to her yesterday and she did not have a boyfriend, least of all Steve.”  
  
“Then that doesn’t make any sense... I mean, Clint told me _today_ she said she and Steve were going out for a while.”  
  
“Maybe half a day is ‘a while.’” Jane air quotes with a frown. “She’s obviously lying to Clint...whoever Clint is—” She bites her lip. “Or she’s lying to me.”  
  
“She’s obviously lying to _someone_ and I’m gonna find out who.” Jane raises an eyebrow, “what’s with the look?”  
  
“This intense need to find out if Steve is taken wouldn’t have anything to do with your crush on him, would it?”  
  
“ _Crush_?” James scoffs. “I don’t have a—” Jane purses her lips. “Alright fine, I have a crush but this has nothing to do with that.”  
  
“Oh really? If it were anyone else you wouldn’t give a rat’s ass. All you’ve done is poorly flirt with him, you had ample opportunities to lock that down.” Jane shrugs shaking her head, “but you didn’t.”  
  
“What about your Scandinavian crush, huh? Waxing poetic about the blues of your eyes? The delicate strands of your hair that frame your face? You will not believe half the shit that guy spouted when he thought we were dating—”  
  
Jane snickers. “Are you kidding? I’m assuming you’re referring to Thor who most certainly does not have a crush on me. Before today he barely acknowledged my existence _and_ I didn’t even know his name!”  
  
“Just because _you_ didn’t notice _him_ doesn’t mean _he_ didn’t notice _you_. He gave me the hairy eyeball a couple of times we were together. I’m pretty fucking perspective Janie, I notice things. His glare would have set me on fire if physically possible.” Jane groans rubbing her hand down her face. “That’s what I thought. You need to tell him.”  
  
“Tell him? Tell the _obviously_ romantic – if your waxing poetic comment is true, seemingly sweet and uncomfortably attractive man who may or may not have a ‘crush’” She air-quotes, “on me that I am aromantic and can _never_ reciprocate any possible intense feelings of love he might... at some point in time possess? Thanks but no thanks. Not only will I have to quit because of the hitmen the other employees will send out for me but I couldn’t bare being around his rumored pout.”  
  
“You’re exaggerating.”  
  
“Am I? You know where I work.”  
  
James nods. In a place where death and misery are commonplace, the blond’s sunny disposition helps and if Jane rejecting him puts a damper on that... well he feels sorry for her, “true but leading Thor on will be a thousand times worse – not an exaggeration and you just might get that firing squad on you.”  
  
“I can barely _look_ at the guy without squinting. Just this morning my voice nearly broke talking to him!”  
  
“Sorry I’m not sorry. If he’s interested then he wants sex, at least. You can give him that.” Jane glares at him. “Right, but you’ve got the whole demisexuality thing going which may not work out in his favor either. Guy sure knows how to pick ‘em, am I right?”  
  
Jane sighs. “If I do somehow tell Thor and make a fool out of myself in the process because you are infallibly wrong about this, you have to tell Steve.”  
  
“Tell— _no_ , that’s not a fair trade.”  
  
“Never said it had to be.” She waggles her eyebrows.  
  
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>  
  
“This has to be the best news I ever heard!” Jen looked around making sure she didn’t have an audience before continuing. The firm is taking a much needed recess before the final debrief of the night meaning they can go the hell home soon. “You’re in New York for three hours and you already got yourself a sugar daddy?”  
  
_“It isn’t like that!”_ Her cousin sighs on the other end, _“at least I’m not sure its not like that... but I’m not sure it is.”_  
  
“So, is it going to be a permanent move or does that depend on payment?” There’s another weary sigh. “Come on Robbie, I’ve been on your ass to move with me to New York for four years.”  
  
_“You wanted me to move to California with you, when I finally accept you go to New York and do the whole thing all over again. Sorry if I can’t just pick up and leave on a whim.”_  
  
“You are broke Robert, that is exactly why you should do it.” She chuckles at the groan. “I mean, you have no attachments and not that much stuff to move so why not?” Her cousin sighs loudly. “Listen, all I know is he better be cute; I’m going to need all the details...” Jen frowns, “and to think I was going to ask you to be my plus one for this Stark wedding anniversary thing but I wasn’t going to offer you money so you might not have accepted.”  
  
_“Very funny.”_  
  
“Although, if you’re going with someone else I need to find someone to take with me to make sure the evening is not a complete waste of my time. I know its the event of the century but I never even met them.”  
  
_“Nine days is pretty far off, he might change his mind.”_  
  
“Are you kidding? You’re adorable, anyone would be lucky to use you as arm candy for an affordable price.”  
  
_“Jennifer, as always it is a pleasure.”_  
  
“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do Robbie, seriously. Or maybe you should. I mean, sugar daddy and all. You need to tell me everything that happens, okay?”  
  
“Walters, we need you~” Foggy sing-songs.  
  
“Crap, I gotta go. I’ll call you when I get the chance, don’t forget to give me all the details Robbie. I mean _all_ of them.” She chuckles as her cousin mumbles something then hangs up. And her mother said her cousin was a lost cause.  
  
Shaking her head she goes back into the room resuming her seat next to Romanova. The redhead raises a skeptical eyebrow in her direction. “You look happy.”  
  
“My cousin just got a date to that Stark wedding thing.” Natasha nods slowly, “which means he’s not going to be _my_ date.” She sighs propping her first against her fist. Foggy’s happily chattering about something or the other.  
  
“If you need a date I might be able to help you out.”  
  
“Is this a pity thing?” Jennifer asks sitting up. Natasha shakes her head and its Jen’s turn to raise the skeptical eyebrow. “Then what do you want from me?”  
  
>>>>>>>>>>>>  
  
“Now you want to cash in that favor? Unfortunately Buttercup I secured my own date to the wedding anniversary but thanks so much for considering me. Pepper on the other hand doesn’t have anyone – you don’t know Pepper? Oh right, she wasn’t around. Yeah, no, trust me Pepper will be okay with anything outsisde my family and I don't blame her. Just tell your friend everything’s copacetic. Uh-huh, see you then.” Tony sighs hanging up. Robert was busy with his own phone call so taking a phone call of his own wouldn’t necessarily be rude but he failed those posh manners classes after day two so he doesn’t know how this works. All he knows is he needs to find a bathroom or something to fix his pants that have become slightly more uncomfortable with every fantasy of the brunet and his masterpiece of an ass.  
  
“Sorry.” The brunet says returning holding up his phone. “My cousin, she calls every now and then to check up on me.”  
  
“Your cousin? She in New York too?” A nod. “It wouldn’t be weird if we met, would it?”  
  
“Considering I’m meeting your entire family that wouldn’t even register on the weirdness scale.” Tony pauses. He has a point. “You’d probably see her at the wedding thing anyway. She called to ask me to accompany her but you beat her to the punch.”  
  
“What’s her name?”  
  
“Jennifer Walters, she works at Nelson & Murdock. That’s how she got the invite if that’s what you’re asking.”  
  
“Ah. I heard the whole firm got invited because they helped my parents get out of a pretty big hole. I have a friend, of sorts, that works there. Her name is Natalia – I, actually I don’t know what she goes by anymore though. She just called me to ask if I had a date and was going to set me up with someone but you beat her to that.” Tony grins, “so thank you. If there is one thing that woman likes doing its messing with me. That and matchmaking.” Robert nods slowly. “I need your opinion on what I have you under on my phone.” He hands the brunet the phone.  
  
“ _Science Bear_?” Robert glances at him and Tony waggles his eyebrows, “it could be worse.”  
  
“I was originally going to put you under Professor Cuddles. Ooh, put that as my information would you?” Robert sighs scrolling his contact list.  
  
>>>>>>

There was— _is_ really—a large list of places Thor could have traveled to in a few months. Their different ideals caused yet another fight between them but Loki was tired of traveling alone. Thor was his traveling companion – oh and his brother too (adopted but still his brother which is important or something). Thor hadn’t been in contact with their father either which meant – despite cutting them off – Odin wanted to act concerned about their well-being. When Odin called him to yell about their credit card bills he let it slip that Thor last used his card in South America. Naturally, that was where Loki went. It was four months ago but more of a lead than anything else. He couldn’t remember the last time he heard his brother’s boisterous voice and he might even dare say he _missed it._  Loki arrived in Brazil only to come up empty-handed (so to speak – he got a lot of things from that trip but none of those things were Thor. If Thor wasn’t close by he might have to check Brazil again, just in case). After a relaxing week he figured – what the hell – why not try _North_ America? Thirty-seven states in he was no closer to finding Thor than he was when they separated in Europe.

He was going a bit out of order traveling to New York but if nothing else he’d get to sightsee. According to various tourist magazines New York was a popular location. The Statue Of Liberty, Metlife Stadium – no wait... the article said that was in New Jersey. Madison Square Garden, Citi Field, Yankee Stadium that place the Buffalo Bills play. All those places he was interested in seeing. He’d take a break here then continue searching for Thor. After all, when else will he get another opportunity to freely travel America alone?


End file.
